Starting another fast
Well, hi. I have posted on here a few times before. I am 5'2'',22 years old, and today I weighed 137.8 this morning. My goal is to maintain a weight between 110 and 115. About three years ago I weighed about 100 to 105 and I looked like a little girl and I did not get my period and I believe that a big part of why I am afraid to lose the weight I've gained is because I am scared of being a little girl again. I want to be thin really badly, so much so that it consumes my mind most of the time. I have attempted fasting a lot for the past year and I havent succeeded much but once I made it 6 days and released about 12 pounds. I went from 136 to 122. I guess thats 14 pounds. ANyways, my goal for now is to just get myself down to 110 or 115 and see my body again in its most beautiful. My goal is also to heal these lines that have developed underneath my eyes, and clease myself out emotionally, spiritually and physically. I want to be pure and healthy and free of this binge eating/obsession thing.
I want to feel good in my own body. Also, I am just about to graduate with my BA in psychology and I really want to get my masters degree and I have been thinking about Hawaii. I know that if I do move to Hawaii, I really want to weigh a healthy amount so that I can comfortably wear bathing suits and swim in the ocean and be free. I love Hawaii so much. I am really spiritual and have been thinking about going to a spiritual school for my masters degree, bu there are very few of those. I am going to be a therapist and an alternative healer. I know that I have some more work to do on myself before I can fulltime be a therapist/healer, but the thing is that mentally, I am very gifted, it is the parts of me at the core of my being that are still in pain and still cause me to binge. I have not yet been able to heal the core. Anyways... here's the stats for my fast - I think it will probably be about 3-4 weeks long. Oh and one last thing was that last night I said a prayer to the universe to help me accomplish this fast, and i had a vision of a beautiful elderly woman who was very wise and she was with me and said she would be with me through the fast to help me. I keep seeing her in my mind. Does that sound crazy??
current weight : 137.8
Goal weight : 110 to 115 pounds
Wish me luck!