It is well if you can help or not, I will shortly work with a teacher who has come to me. I do not really know what you do or all your experiences, but I see your vibration increases.
Ok where to start
I feel like a history would be too much. Basically since childhood I have heightened senses often hyper and painful. I sense things that others do not through smelling hearing tasting touching feeling inside my body and sight. Weird things like, without sight i can detect objects in small or lage spaces by the way the air current is disturbed or by feeling/hearing the resonance of the object or lack of it. There is much more perhaps you get the picture if not I can give detail.
i suppressed a lot when younger and i fought sleep to avoid the dreams of knowledge. I felt I was always being tested or examined or made to stand out and that no one understood me even though I had little difficulty understanding others. So I attributed knowledge to intelligence, cognition, retention etc and channeled creatively.
I mostly preserve my little bit of creative/sexual/regenerative energy as i got older women usually demanded my energy and I gave it to them and did not know to protect it. i also tended to take on other peoples stuff and physical ailments.
So I simply refused to give it to anyone except to manifest my kids. I began learning of and practicing sublimation/transmuting of the sex energy and after a brief time of experiencing the degradation of the energy through squandering it, i determined again that I do not desire give away so much enery so continues the practice.
What has occurred this round happened quite rapidly, a relatively newfound ability to see other peoples dreams or visions by touching them which has always occurred spontaneously, but seems to occur if I touch them while sleeping as well as ability to hear peoples thoughts/unconscious just by touching them.
A friend who is a tantrika often goes into ecstasy, if I touch her while in that state, vibrations and visible muscular twitches go up my own arm, and register as audible speech in her own voice. I also experience the feeling and visions that she experiences. This happens with her sleeping dreams also, if i sleep beside someone. Their dreams seem to become more vivid and energetic, even my kids recognize this.
I have noticed that this occurs usually when I am in that aware state before sleep and I have learned to hang out there without sleeping many years ago..
So even if my friend is not in ecstasy, If in that certain aware state, I can touch her and hear her thoughts or judgments about self.
Seems like I hear her unconscious tapes, we experimented with it for a while and I am hearing accurate information and she realizes how much she judges herself. i have avoided testing with others as of yet. But I am feeling that those I have connection to allow this to occur. Seems like it is information I should not let on that I know and perhaps the wisest thing is to allow my own compassion and undersatnding to be strengthened. at least for now.
Some brief paralell encounters over the past few years: I had the ability to hear Tracey from CZ when she was thinking of me or calling my name even while sleep, this was usually verified easily by checking for an email or post from Tracey that had just arrived where she was calling my name. I was awakened just prior to events of 9-11 by my own voice calling my name projected loudly into a corner of the bedroom, which was proceeded by muscle twitches that felt like someone was tugging on my big toe, then I saw visions of what later took place. The exact moment my grandmother died I heard my already deceased grandfather’s voice from within my own chest. I visibly felt twitches and my vocal chords moved even though the voice was internal and centered in my heart area. Before my father died he was in a coma and I was talking to him. I touched him and heard his voice inside me and I visibly saw his vocal chords moving in correlation to the audible that was heard internally. the same happend a year later with his sister.
Several days ago while walking I was wondering about all this, at the exact moment that I decided to seek help or advice on clairsentience and clairvoyancy I looked up and a woman was standing before me staring deeply into me without speaking and yet I heard her voice inside. A man came up to me and asked if she had told me anything and that she was clairvoyant!.
I feel determined to not use this stuff right now to directly help people as it is too risky and dangerous to ego and also until I become fully grounded in my practice I run the risk of feeling like I am being taken advantage of or that boundaries i have set are being dissolved. I can tell by a certain vibration and how people behave towards me when these cycles of attraction are strong and I now just stand and observe as opposed to getting sucked in to the drama. Al ot now registers as an obvious test so I no longer even judge that I just allow and of course more comes which strengthens my practice. Before the judging was dangerous because I would seem to attract people who come to me and spontaneously spill their fears and pain and drama, people I know, as well as those I do not know.
I do often hear the voices of friends when they are suffering and then I go and they release it used to feel like I was thrown up on now it has little effect and their crap does not infect me. It helps me with my practice regardless of karmic reason or explanation.
I generally attract women because men do not often express and the women more often will. In the past I have allowed to get sucked into a relationship and ultimately i was told that there was jealousy of some vague thing that they felt I had. I often heard things like“I do not know why but I feel like coming and introducing myself to you” and it ends with dumping of emotions on me and “It is your duty to help me”. i had to learn a hard way to draw boundaries after much pain and suffering on my own part as well as theirs and now view both man and woman as aspects of divinity.
The other day I stated I would like to take a clinical therapy course to deal with certain common conditions better and immediately I was attracting people with psychiatric conditions. Five so far in a matter of 5 days. After a period of release (The last woman sung opera loudly and hugged herself while having tea in a cafe) they become very lucid and thank me for not judging them or feeling their outburst or anger or whatever was about me. It could be saids that they are often needy and desirous but since I no longer judge it, it rarely effects me negatively.
My teachers and mentors have basically stated that they are at their limits to provide anything to help or guide me so I am at a point where I can possibly work with a famous personality (who I believe may be ego oriented) who will help train me to “help others” or with a teacher who was presented to me in dream vision years ago and actually manifested when I asked, and believes as I tend to that these powers should be not focused on as they are always here and cultivate in accordance with my practice and thusly I will use them only when truly called for.
On second thought my main queriies are:
(1)I do not currently claim to utilize these abilities to help people it just happens. Do you agree that i should just keep this info/knowledge private. I do not know if I will ever operate on a bigger scale as there is pressure and ego and expectation attraction and aversion.
(2)What do you feel about using powers to help people and being most effective in front of or behind the scenes? I feel that most in front are operating from ego and I have seen very powerful people who are generally hidden from sight.
(3) I have slowly acquired ability to not let others drain me of energy. I used to get physically ill or nauseaus even observing certain people who were very needy or demanding. What I do now is allow others to be as they are this allows compassion and understanding and I do not take anything personally and seem protected. How do you handle the empathy thing?