Nothing better than a good meditation sitting. I've been using some easy, fun yoga techniques. Mainly the breathing, guided imagery, along with non stressful poses. Seems the kids enjoy this, and being in a group, it helps build trust.
And, yes, I don't want her or anyone stuck in hate mode. Takes way too much energy, time, emotion. Perhaps my use of apathy was not the best, but I hope my example helped. I just want her healthy, moving through life with as little baggage as possible. But apathy about the abuse...never. Apathy about the abusers, not feeling intense in hatred, fear, rage, revenge. that is what I want. If something bad happens to those guys, so be it. I don't want her to dwell on hate.
And I thought I was past the trigger phase too. Take me back 6 weeks ago, I was fine. Something about this case / client just brought it up. I'm glad I recognized it quickly and went to see someone instead of falling into the trap of getting depressed all over again, becoming ineffective.
Your points are all good, and in a way, I think we are saying things very similar.