I don't want this to turn into a war or rant or personal type attack. If my previous post came across that way, my apologies.
I can't abandon this client because I lack the skills necessary for her. My goal at this time is to get her stable, functional, reduce the terror and self destructive impulses. In doing that, I'm hoping to undo the damage the crisis counselor at the hospital did, getting her agreeable to seeing someone more talented and capable.
One thing I have learned, survivors/victims, whatever term is most agreeable to you is that things can be fine. After years of therapy, working through all the issues, and feeling fine, things can trigger, bringing about old wounds and feelings. I only hope that will never happen to you or anyone you know. But the ordeal she experienced, was a trigger for me. I have talked w/ support providers, getting myself back in order. Am I perfect, I only wish. Will I have other triggers in the future, I pray not, but I may. Other therapists say that this is not uncommon. So I feel inclined to believe them. A person can go years, decades, doing wonderful, then something can be a trigger. So hopefully you are cured, whatever that is, but I discovered I'm not. But I"m also not a wreck, nor helpless. Maybe that is why my clients feel a closeness and safeness with me. They see a strength that is willing to continue the work and fight.
As for the forgiveness issue. That one that is a personal choice. I would never impose that choice on anyone. If they wanted it, fine, I will help work with them to achieve that goal. If other aspects of their life are in order. And I can understand the woman wanting to thank the guard. One client was beaten by an attacker because he didnt want his partner to rape her. The lesser of 2 evils it was reasoned.
I just need to repeat, I agree that she needs help from someone more qualified. I'm just not willing to throw her away because I lack the skills. I saw what someone who is highly qualified did to her in the hospital.
My reasoning for coming here, I repeat is to hear from victims, and maybe therapists who deal with this. How would a victim feel if their counselor was a victim. Would the trust / bond be there and help in the treatment or would it pose problems. Nothing more. So, do I want to hear from a bunch of people who have just read the books and had classes or do I want to hear from the people who lived through it. My thoughts, at this time, are the people who lived through this ordeal, what worked for them, what didnt work for them. I hope this helps clarify.