W/out going into great detail, you seem to be still dealing w/ a lot of things, so I wish you luck. As I have said, each professional gives different opinions. I am hoping for the opinions of those who have lived through events, not just read about it.
I'm sorry my asking has caused you such discomfort. And as I have previously said, her issue is far beyond me. I have someone more qualified ready to see her, but at this point, I am the only one she is willing to talk to. So, should I just tell her no, get lost? It sounds like you are of the type who when playing counselor, might just be the type that met her at the hospital. She was nearly pushed her to a break forcing her parents and the dr. to tell the crisis counselor leave.
So, I guess if I can't come to a place like this for some insight, where else, but to a bunch of so called professionals who learned life through books and give text book answers.