Wow...i do agree with you on this. And while I thought I had worked through things, this caught me so totally off guard, I was stunned, shocked, and extremely saddened. I am trying to get her to see another therapist, because I know I am in over my head. I want the skills to work with her, and yeah...I do want to save her. Yet I know she also needs to work. Part of the problem is she is still in crisis mode, and she is refusing to see anyone, except me. I have even gone so far as to tell her I will go with her to do an introduction. She took it as a rejection, so I'm not pushing it like I was. I am able to hear her story, I have gotten myself in order, just sad. She is that one client who gets into the heart. While I care about all of them, there is more with her. I want to take her pain away, I want her reclaim her normal teenage drama, and her innocence. I want for her to be a kid again.
I think she is trying to protect me from the whole story. I also think she is trying to protect herself. She has said she doesnt want to remember anything and is trying to block it all out. I've told her the mind doesnt work that way. And that there will the time she needs help, will need to talk about it. It can be in a day, week, or years from now. But there will be that time when she needs to see someone. I also said that I don't want her to go through years of hurting, making mistakes that could be corrected by dealing with the issues now. This is when she started talking. Instead of horror on my face, I was filled with sadness. How could people do this to a child. How could a child endure this.
I do like the suggestion on asking her what she wants. Does she want to hear my story, and does she want to tell me hers. This is one of those "no duh" suggestions. Basic common sense questions that never occurred to me.