You know, you're right.
I don't know if you read my other thread below asking for help about being lonely after ending a 3 year relationship or not...but I started seeing a guy while my ex and I were broken up and in different states (i moved when we broke up and he moved w/ a few months later to get back together and it didn't work out, obviously).
When my ex and I got back together, he eventually found out about the guy I was seeing during the break and saw him because I worked with the guy. Anyway, he just bashed this guy nonstop and talked all sorts of trash on his physical appearance and such. I thought that was entirely ridiculous because this guy was sexy as hell! Well, maybe not to everyone, but I was actually physically attracted to him, and that doesn't happen often at all. My ex said he was scrawny and had girly eyes but...this guy worked out a lot and his gorgeous eyes were what mesmerized me in the first place...they weren't girly...they were hot!! He was also just like me, intellectually...and my ex knew this. I think that made him insecure and, as an NPD, of course, extremely jealous.
I have never really out destiny and self-determined actions together. That makes a whole lot of sense though. I mean, I really don't like to believe that everyone's life is predetermined and we all already have our destinies planned out for us. That could be true, but I would like my destiny to be a happy one and based on me making those decisions that ultimately decide my happiness.