So what is a girl to do when she is facing the common problem with always being attracted to the "bad-boy- %¤#&!§-"??
Before I was with the guys that I spent three years with, who apparently is NPD and, under my diagnosis, bi-polar...I was with a nice guy. The problem was, I could have walked all over him IF I wanted to. I'm sorry, but I just can't respect that. Maybe I just have yet to find the happy medium, but sometimes, honestly, I throw feminism to the curb and decide that I would enjoy feeling like the "inferior sex" every once in a while.
I like to think that I am a very independent person. HOWEVER, that's shown to be untrue. When my boyfriend left last week, not only did I call him back 20 minutes later when I was freaking out about not knowing what to do, but I had to ask him a question about my car the next morning, I don't use the fireplace because he's the one that always set it, I made a lot of my decisions based on what he would think...Perhaps this most recent relationship has made me MORE dependent since he was a control freak and...doing what someone else says is always easier than having to think for oneself. I don't have friends because I don't know how to make any, I always relied on other people I knew to make friends for me, and I never took the initiative to hang out with people. I'm working on that though.
So my question here is...how does one settle on a generally nice guy? I mean...sure, that's what I want...but I don't want complacency; I don't want passiveness; I don't want pacifism; and I don't want worship. I want passion, equality, and just two separate lives who share a common interest, not two bodies trying to live one life. I don't want a jerk who is going to influence me into molding my personality to suit his. I want someone who doesn't interfere with my interests; he doesn't have to share my interests, but at least respect them and find me fascinating for having them.
How do I keep myself from falling for that which has always turned me on? I mean...attraction is attraction, healthy or not.
Anytime I have found anything close to my description in the past, there has always been flaws... I.E. fear of commitment, Narcicism, another woman...