Re: Cut your losses

God bless you, Want2beclean! You've come so very far in just a short year! Much faster than it took me to even being healing. It's an exercise in humility to recall some of the things that I Survived. It serves to remind me that my arrogance and foolish belief that I was "The One" to help my ex grow was unrealistic, at the very least. It's also a priviledge to know that my experiences have helped you, and I'll explain what I mean.

I read an earlier post where the original poster was stuck in a "What do I do, now?" rut. For years (as is typical for the supply source), I truly believed that I had no purpose or value to anyone, least of all my own family. Then, I began speaking to what I choose to call, "God." I began talking out loud, expressing my fears and concerns about my situation. The constant question that I kept asking was, "Why am I here? What is my purpose?" The answer isn't always clear, and I had to seek a path of safety and light using my own judgement - I began to understand that my own judgement had gotten me into the mess that I found myself and that I had to develop a more discerning approach to choosing friends and partners. Of couse, this doesn't really apply to children of NPD until they are much, much older - once they reach adulthood, it then becomes a choice as to whether or not they will continue to accept the abuse of their NPD. I tried to avoid the "Why me?" syndrome - the answer to that is, "Why not me?" and it only set me up to throw a Pity Party for my Self.

So, to break it all down, I Survived my experiences so that I could greet each day with enthusiasm and hope, regardless of my current condition, emotional state, etc. That, I think, was the lesson: it's about humanity, not me. The Earth still spins on her axis whether I'm in a good or bad space and its humbling because this is a fact: the world is not "All about me." So, if my experiences can help another human being to Survive their situation and help to make positive changes for someone else, it is a priviledge to know that one more person will, at some point, be able to see the miracle of every sunrise and sunset.

Holy cow, I'm going on a poetic rant. Post back, Igraine01. There are many folks just on THIS site, alone, that can help you on your journey to safety and healing.

As always, best wishes to one and all. Tweet