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Re: Need some relationship advice edited
 
been there done that Views: 1,311
Published: 17 y
 
This is a reply to # 1,050,090

Re: Need some relationship advice edited


Sorry, I'm trying to do two things at once. I missed the marriage part in the original post. You're just going to have to explain to her how serious this situation is. She has to be the one to be in counseling, there simply can't be any negotiation about this. She has to let you be in charge and she has to learn that that is the only way it can be.
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As far as yourself, all is not lost, you are still being honest and objective in what you write and your assessment of the situation is "on target". From my 53 years of knowing what people are like, she will not change with any amount of counseling.

She has seen your weakness. Once a person sees that you can be manipulated and that you will be accommadating, they will not change for real,...a stranger will, an aquaintance will, a misguided friend will, but only because they realize that you can beat the crap out of them if they pull that again. Someone who is close to you and weaker than you (whether they are family or romantic partner) KNOWS that you won't do that (they got you right where they want you...POWERLESS, and you will SEE them PUSH YOU AND PUSH YOU continuously (at that point, I PITY you, and so will you).

She knows you won't hit her (someday, you might, and you'll break every bone in her face with one punch, and then you'll end up in jail, and she'll be in the hospital or worse).

Maybe you think everything I just said is silly,...okay, dream that somehow it can turn out better and she's going to change her attitude toward you...for how long???

Do you mean that in the future, you believe that she will actually RESPECT her man that she once saw crawl at her knees and allowed himself to be at her beckon call? Most women want the MAN to be someone they can look up to, but she ALREADY knows she can't do that and she KNOWS she doesn't have to change (maybe temporarily to fool you and the counselor), but not permanently.

When she was a little girl, she probably wanted to have a family someday with a man who would "take charge" and that she could look up to (her "knight in shining armor"), but she decided to be stupid and ruin that dream, she'll never be able to look up to you because she decided to turn a ROMANTIC relationship into a POWER GAME (and you should always realize that if you let people be stupid, they WILL be stupid, it never fails, except of course if they are not stupid to begin with).



 

 
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