Need some relationship advice
So I've come to a hard crossroads in my relationship with my wife.
I am 32 and she is 30. We have been married for almost 4 years. We fell for each other very hard when we met, but over the years we have developed problems like many couples do. We are both first born children and tend to be very dominant. In the beginning we would sort of compete and feel each other out. She is very particular and can verge on being "high maintenance". She can also be very competitive. As this has drug on I really finally just gave in and allowed her to run big parts of our life. It's been more difficult to fight with her than to simple just let her have her way. I have also really moved into a position where I find myself doing the most to keep her happy and content. For example; I will run to the market and grab anything she needs rain or shine, day or night at the drop of a hat. For all intents and purposes I feel I have been emasculated. From a male perspective this has been rough. I feel less like the man in the relationship. I tend to be concerned about her feelings all the time and walk on egg shells quite a bit. Needless to say this has compounded in our relationship. As she has taken more responsibility away over time I own less of it in the relationship.
She takes issue now with the "partnership" seeing me as less of a part of it. This as you can guess can cause problems. As we are now talking about having children she is suddenly questioning things very dramatically. She feels she will be left to deal with the children in real ways why I will simply be the one who gets to enjoy the experience. I have been less responsible in my past as a young bachelor but currently am much more solid (in my opinion). I could be more engaged in many ways but I'm not a couch potato or lazy. I just have become more passive around her. I am tall and handsome (approached by women). I stay trim and fit. I excel at athletics. I am very artistically gifted and handy around the house (gutted and remodeled our 100 year old Victorian from scratch). I am intelligent politically engaged and love reading. I come from a successful and solid family. I am fairly social. I only drink socially and have no addictions. I earn a 6 figure salary and work as an art director in the advertising industry. I am also trying to get a business off the ground on the side. I am "stylish" and fashionable without being silly. I am often referred to as being very "alpha male". Around other men or groups of people I tend to take a leadership position naturally. But, with in my relationship I have become weak and dependent. Her opinion matters most to me and she is so critical that it sends me deeper and deeper into a tailspin. My self confidence suffers around her but rarely does in my work or public life. These traits of dependancy have become a problem from her female perspective obviously and are causing a lot of issues here. She has driven a lot of self doubts into me. We will be seeking professional help soon and I have no idea if this relationship will work out now. This obviously tears my heart out. I'm at a strange point in my life now because of this. Should I throw in the towel and find somebody else who is less demanding? Should I fight to make this work? I would love to stay with her and sort this out but maybe I'm just being unrealistic? If any of you have advice especially from a woman's perspective that would be great. What is going on in the female mind here?