Re: Fasting Update

hey,
Thanks for your response! I do not fear "going crazy" myself: I have decided not to fear it & have become convinced by my reading and experience in fasting that there is really very little to fear. What I think, as regards myself, is that these fears such as the one you mention come to me out of a fear of being without my fix (food) -- not out of any real danger. I speak of course for my own self... I think the body is really to be trusted... I think for myself it is important to maintain this attitude... I only got to where I am by thoroughly exploring and confessing my fears -- and by doing research about them. Which was hard -- I still am reluctant to read mainstream articles on fasting... I have this intuitive knowledge about fasting which gets "beaten up" by (prejudiced, ignorant) scientists and also by people with no perspective & strong opinions... I am learning to recognize these types of people and to defend my own intuition. I get so scared by people sometimes, though... because fasting is so important to me as a kind of basic necessity for my human dignity... as the way out of the humiliation of compulsive overeating.. with all its personality distortions (it's an addiction) and with all its life-compromising, again, humiliating, circumstances.

Yeah, in my own humble opinion, any fast, even a short fast, that one can do, is worthwhile. Even if I screw up afterward. Fasting I feel strengthens my body. I choose to believe this strengthening cannot be undone and is always worth it. I choose to believe that if I really get up the will and "sober-mind" to fast, this is good, and it should always be pursued... again I speak for myself alone. I believe that anxiety is a major hallmark of compulsive overeating -- due to the neurological effect of the intestinal condition sustained by compulsive overeating -- and that a lot of e disturbing, "what-if" thoughts that I get about fasting -- I could give you a long list of thoughts that used really to frighten me and that I have been working on and have really been able to leave behind -- these thoughts area somehow created by the physical condition in the body that triggers the brain condition of anxiety...

I have found I BELIEVE a successful way to lengthen my fasts.

I am completing my first 60-hour fast in 3 years tonight. Yay!!

The way I have achieved this is just by trying again and again for a long time, and in spite of all the screaming negative messages that I got from others

The actual key to my success is that I set a "sobriety date" for myself -- I used to go to a lot of AA to address my compulsive overeating (both secretly, not telling others why I was there, and openly, in some groups where for whatever reason I felt comfortable and felt my addiction would not be dismissed as "different," if not unacceptable... I really wanted, rightly or wrongly, to consider food as exactly the same as any other substance. The people who screamed Oh, but yue neeeeed fuuuuude ta liiiivvveee!!!!! and beat me up that way were really factually mistaken, (a) if you consider the many, many cases of yogis who have lived without eating -- at least for long periods of time -- and theoretically having found a way to transcend food (consider the breatharian movement also) -- not that I feel my food addiction has progressed so far that this is the only solution for me -- just that I really believe it is possible -- but also (b) if you consider the fact or believe the idea that under certain circumstances NO eating is acceptable -- I mean, when your intestinal bacteria are out of whack. Sometimes you just HAVE to fast, or worsen your life-condition... i.e., sometimes the only sober thing to do is fast. At these times, eating for me is what drinking is to an alcoholic. And When my body is NOT in that state, THen and only then is eating acceptable, and only non-triggering food (for me, raw, actually living food [sprouts] -- also for me the living food has to be full-leaved, green, non-starchy living food [sprouts]). ... so sobriety is just as cut and dried for me as it is for an alcoholic... there are, I choose to believe, no circumstances under which I myself with my body would "have to eat" -- have to violate my body's healthy desire to keep its bacteria under control -- in order to stay alive. ... I can have a "bottom line " kind of behavior just like an alcoholic. And it WOULD be possible for me not to eat at all -- to learn that, from people who knew how... so food is NO different, ultimately, from a drug.... I feel writing this that my task in life really may sort of be to evolve into the state of being totally abstinent from food... maybe, gradually.


Anyway, what is important right now is that I have this sobriety date: for a day count of taking living food only and taking fasts of increasing lengths... the rule s that every third fast has got to be LONGER than the fast 3 fasts before it, by a quantity of 6 hours... starting with this 60 hour fast I am now doing. This will really make a difference in my life.

I am on Day 9 of this day count.

My secret is that my Sobriety Date is the birthday of someone I have a from-afar crush on and I am going to live in his area next summer and I will be able to announce in local AA meetings there that I have 6 months, about the time I get there... then I will have 1 year on his birthday... this person is really special to me though I do not know him... I want to get close to him somehow... I am using this incentive to get serious about my life and really make a change that I need to make.. instead of just living intoxicated all the time. And destroying myself. I feel very ashamed & discouraged about how my food addiction has devastated my life. I really have just about no relationships.

And the local AA there -- which I used to belong to (under the "secret" method, unfortunately) -- will support me to keep up the sobriety day count even though I may never get close to this person (yeah, he's a famous person)

But it works for me. It really does. .. AS my fasts get longer I will have to adjust the rule or something.. to make it feasible ... but for now I am going to just get the ability to fast for say a week developed!

My best to you, and please write back,
Love,
Lauray








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