Ah, Serafina. I've missed you. I've thought of you this past year on and off.
All consuming love and passion can result in both ends of the spectrum. I don't think you need a divorce at all. But I do think you need a separation. I say this with the greatest of respect and admiration for what you have gone through. I just wrote an entire page to you here, but erased it all to just write that.
Perhaps if your travel here is related to Erik's job, and resources are OK, then you can go find a stable place to set up house. I thought you were staying in Rome? It would give you something productive to do while both of you missed each other. Thought about each other. Thought about the relationship.
It does not happen without some danger, I'm sure you are aware. You may find that you do not want him to come back....or you would throw yourself in front of a speeding train for him. Lake is important. But I feel that three is a good age for you two to decide what to do. He won't remember this period. You've got a bit of time here.
No matter where you go, Erik needs to be near. You will need the support Serafina if you decide you do not want the relationship anymore. The support that only the father of your child can give.
Sometimes things are not meant to be. So Serafina, if you feel you must, you can give yourself permission to go.
But, if the river is indeed strong, then it will flow right back to you. For now, you are standing too close to the river to see each and every drop and how they make the whole body of water.