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Re: confused
been there done that Views: 2,385
Published: 16 years ago
This is a reply to # 1,049,042

Re: confused

To say the least, divorce would be an overreaction . Things don't sound so bad and irrepairable from what you have written. Divorce does not only have effects on a marriage, it has effects on a FAMILY (meaning it has very bad effects on the child, ESPECIALLY a young one for the rest of that child's life). Most/many? children of divorce suffer long term Depression into adulthood, late adulthood, and even beyond because they lose their heritage and identity. I'm a child of divorce and suffered 51 years of suicidal Depression until I outlived my whole family (when I was 51), but that's because it was also a dysfunctional family (which might not/doesn't seem to be the case with you). I didn't always put it into words (I didn't formally realize it), but I was born by mistake and technically shouldn't exist (loss of identity, no true sense of belonging). While my family was still alive, it wasn't a REAL "family" and I never was able to regain a true "identity" (still, you don't seem to indicate a "dysfunctional" family, HOORAY for that!!!).

I'm 53 now and understand that I do have a RIGHT to exist,...yada, yada, yada (big deal, I'll never be a 30 year old father). Nevertheless, I remember my parents with fondness now (so what, big deal). I started to feel even worse about myself because I couldn't sincerely honor them with "good" honor, but then I thought "What's the point of that?", so God showed me good memories of who they really were and now I have peace about that (but I'll never be a 30 year old father, etc.).

If you would like to avoid all of this, forget about divorce, if not, the future awaits all who enter it.

Your husband also should be very concerned about the disposition of the family (the man of the household is ultimately responsible for everything), so your husband better start getting his act together because I don't think that "fond memories" are a decent defense to offer The Lord on judgement day (neither are they very meaningful to the child's life).

Parenting is always challenging (just like life). Without "challenge", there would be nothing to overcome, and there simply could not be any chance of "REWARD" (the excitement, adventure, and suspense of life depends on "CHALLENGE").

Divorce must become "out of the question" (proper and effective communication WILL solve problems), but your husband also has to GROW UP.


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