Re: Need answers about my crazy boyfriend.

I do not remember answering your original post with a website, so I think the thread may have been inadvertenly rearranged.

Addressing the surrender of the NPD, it's a painful process. We mourn and grieve over what we are certain "could" have been, if only ___________ (fill in the blank with anything, like "there had been an earthquake.")

Surrender isn't "giving up." Surrender is realizing that something is beyond our control. The choices of an NPD are beyond the control of anyone other than the NPD. My choices are beyond the control of anyone else. I must surrender my control over the NPD, weather, basketball game, my co-workers' personal lives, etc. The only control that I can maintain (for any length of time) is my Self.

It's fine to "love" our NPD's - love should be freely given. Having said that, "love" does not mean that one willingly leaves themselves open for use and/or abuse. Although it's very painful to walk away from a family member, it can sometimes be the healthiest thing we can do for our Selves.

I might suggest writing down everything that you feel in a journal. From the fantastic claims to your personal heartbreaks, it will help purge your Self of the negativity associated with Surviving an NPD relationship.

God bless! Tweet