Last week things finally came to a head. It seems according to him it is all my fault.
To Quote Him "you are so angry all the time" "you have nothing nice to say" "I always walk on egg shells around you" "You know what's wrong with you, JUST THINK ABOUT IT" (I ask him to expound) and all he would say is "I don't like to be ugly to people and deliberately hurt their feelings."
Then the big one, "I just can't trust you" (2 years ago he walked out and left me, and in my anger (unfortunately I do regret it) I filed for divorce, my lawyer went for the throat and I let him. Basically went after everything we had.) I also do to what ever reason, communicated by email to a person he worked with, told her things I probably shouldn't have, (his deepest darkest secreat, he is a recovering alcoholic, hasn't drank in the 10 years I have known him. After a week, I called him and begged him to come home, which he did. But didn't know I had communicated with his collegue until somehow he found it on the computer (I thought I had deleted it all). Guess I didn't get it all the way off, not a computer genius.
So he tells me now he feels trapped and afraid if he leaves I will do that again. I won't, that was really stupid, and I told him that. But he says his trust is broken, even though he told me before he forgave me. and it wouldn't come up again. How come that never really happens.
Anyway, so I guess I'm just getting what I deserve. I have assured him if he wants to leave no problems, he thinks I should leave if anyone leaves. I have a 15 year old in school anyway there is the jist of my problems