I was going to save this one, but I can see you all need some impetus....Here goes...
After the infamous "Joe" (sexy, scary, dramatic) I started to see Andy. He was really skinny, almost painfully skinny. The man was so mired in disfunction it was ridiculous, and he smoked like a chimney. He definitely was my "bridge" guy. After all Joe was my first, and was scary, so Andy seemed somewhat sane. Well he wasn't. The more time I spent with him the freakier he seemed.
Okay guys, hold onto your hats, but the guy was OVER endowed. Now this was my second. It was like having moby dick coming at me. Literally I could not move for fear of pain during sex. So as I lay there whimpering trying to be a good sport I was totally freaking out. There were men out there with dongs the size of a mini-van? And he was thin. It was like all the material in his body settled there......Have you noticed that with really thin men?
I met this other guy. My stupid NPD in college, the one that made my knees weak. Just like a good girl in the 70's I slept with him on the first night I met him. He a senior, me a freshman I figured "one night stand". The morning of the first night I got out of bed because Andy was at the door to take me out for the day. Yeah, I felt a bit guilty, but after being with this sexy, masculine man all night I really decided Andy had to go.
Well, that day I did what any self respecting woman would do....I had one last painful mercy f^%k with Andy and broke up with him. I remember him sitting on the bed, smoking his cigarette, huge dong laying over half the sheets, looking very hurt. Man, it was horrible.
So I went back to campus and found this incredibly wonderful man and started to "date" him. Within one week we were both covered in crabs. I mean this guy was hairy, and I guess the crabs went from the center to both ends. Yep, Andy gave me a gift. Apparently he'd been messing around with some skanky waitress at one of the area clubs.
All I want to do now is to publicly thank Andy. Thank you jerk. I hope you and your huge dong have had a lovely life.