Hi there :) I have EC too, Ive had it for a long time. I really dont care about it or let it run any part of my life. Why you ask?.. Because I manage it with natural products so it is never very bad and I can do what ever I want to :)
Tell me why your dreams are shattered because of EC? Why is EC preventing you from doing what you want?
I see that your Icon is a spiritual man. Coincidence or not ,You may be interested in a book called "The Power of Now" By Eckhart Tolle. This book has helped me immensely and I can not recommend it enough if you are depressed and suicidal. It will help you understand why you feel this way :)