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Published: 14 years ago
Status:       R [Message recommended by a moderator!]
 
This is a reply to # 1,018,768

My story


You know..I cant really explain exactly what is happening to you..but I can tell you that one time in my life, I was possessed by an evil spirit, for a period of maybe two to three weeks. I drank a lot back in the day, and was losing site of who I was. Loosing my connection to God, and the light. To what makes me special and always has.

Let me tell you some of my story and hopefully it will help.

I was tormented by what I can only describe as very weak demons as a child. They didnt physically hurt me but scared me and manipulated me often. Sometimes I would see them, other times I would just feel their presence. I spent most of my early childhood in fear and darkness. I went through some innapropriate things as a child {dont want to call it outright molestation because my memory is sketchy, but from what I remember something innapropriate did happen to me and Ill just leave it at that}. I believe these dark sources recognized a weak spot in me and took advantage, playing off my fear, and stealing my energy and light. Every since I can remember Ive felt "different" than other people. {or most other people, people who I was around} I was always very different from my family. Ever since I was very small I felt a great sense of purpose and a connection to something, but as a young child I didnt know what {I was raised by athiest parents who were very non spiritual and didnt really believe in anything other than the physical, very closed off to all that is around us}. This difference I felt in myself as a child was a great source of Depression for me. Of course now that I realize there are many other people like me out there its a source of love and happiness, but the full story of how I got here would be too long to tell now.

When I was an older child I met a friend who's family was very spiritual, deeply faithful christians. I was able to tell my friends father of how the demons tormented me and how scared I was. He was the first adult who ever listened to me and recognized my fears as legitimate. He told me that I was one of Gods chosen children, that there were many of us, and that God had opened our eyes. That demons feed off people like us but not if we were too strong to. That god would protect me if I just turned to his light. So I did. These friends began praying for my protection and the most beautiful peace came over my life. I remember feeling the presence of God {and my guardian angels} intensely. The fear left me. It was like night and day.

I went through many trials and tribulations and suffered greatly throughout my teenage years. They took their toll on me and I was treated for suicidal depression. {not treated WELL mind you but thats another tale as well}. Anyway, everything I went through as a teen eventually led me to drugs, then worse drugs, then alcohol. I went in and out of the light often, and found and lost touch with my protective god often. God never left me but I turned my back on God many times.

So sometime during my 22nd year, as I said, I was drinking, a LOT. I was not living right. I was losing that sheild I had cloaked myself with that protected me from these dark entities. And at the time I didnt really care. I was ending a relationship with someone I really loved {someone VERY special himself, its too long to tell his story here but lets just say he was touched as well, and a very naturally gifted healer}, but we were both into drugs and alcohol and our relationship was not working out. He was still my friend though and probably one of the few people who actually cared about me.

I cannot pin point the time when it started. Or where it came from. I just know...at some point I realized I didnt feel "right". At all. And trust me, with my history of Depression and drug use, etc, I have felt all kinds of weirdness, but TRUST ME..when I say "not right" I really mean something was going on. It started as what I can only describe as not being able to "feel" my heart. Understand I have always been a very sensitive and compassionate woman, the kind who cries at the thought of animals being hurt, who feels pain almost physically watching another suffer. But suddenly, it was like..my compassion was literally gone. I felt..nothing. I wondered why..I even thought about animals at the slaughterhouse to sorta test myself {something that brings me to tears and sometimes even makes me physically ill normally} and..nothing. I felt..cold.

I also noticed I was starting to have strange desires..I wanted to hurt men. I wanted to seduce them and then hurt them..both physically and emotionally..obviously I didnt pursue the physical part..but I found myself wanting to use my cute 22 year old looks and charm to lure men into loving me and then crush them. The desire to do this was overwhelming. It would come over me and I would find myself, out at the bars, acting in ways and saying things to men that were really not like me at all..drunk or not.

The next thing I noticed was I no longer had the desire to eat. This was beyond strange for me, Im 110 pounds and have the hunger of a lion normally. Ive also always been a bit hypoglycemic and usually get sick without eating. But I had no apetite and sometimes wouldnt eat for days. I found myself smoking a lot of cigarettes instead..which I did smoke before but nowhere near as heavily. It always made me feel sort of sick when not drinking..

I began feeling...well very odd when talking to people. Like I was sitting back watching myself and hearing myself but I wasnt even controlling what I was saying. This should have scared me..like I said the whole time I very much recognized something wasnt right but in my mind I was just like "haha..thats weird!"..then I would think it was weird that I wasnt more freaked out by it.

I began waking up in the middle of the night with the feeling someone had their hand around my heart and was squeezing it..it felt I was drained of energy.

Then it happened..one night..I got up to use the restroom. I looked in the mirror at myself..and just..stared. I saw what I can only describe as..what I truly looked like. I dont mean the mask of physical existance but I saw myself. There was..a being..leached onto the entire top part of my head, about halfway down my face..its body was visible on the top but it was UNDER the skin of my forhead..my forehead was and face were swollen with its attached body under the skin..my face was covered in pussy boils...I cannot even describe to you what this creature was only that it had the texture of what you would imagine a flies body to look like. I wasnt even scared. I wasnt even me anymore. I just looked at it. Then I went back to bed.


The next day is a blur to me. I was completely out of control of my own life by that point but this thing was very manipulative and charming and knew how to control me so that no one would know I wasnt fine. But I was begining to develop physical changes that no one seemed to notice. I had scratches on my cheeks. I dont recall scratching myself, all I can think is I did it unconciously in my sleep. My family paid no attention to me and my friends at the time were all drunks so no one cared.

As I said, that day was a blur, but through some chain of events, and Gods watchful presence, I ended up in a parking lot with my ex boyfriend {the special one}. We were having a fight about something..and his presence was the only thing that made me, ever so slightly, "feel" myself, and my heart. I was still out of control, and being quite mean to him and telling him to leave, but when he tried to, some part of me told him not to. Over and over telling him not to leave. I believe that was the last bit of me I had left.

He took me to his house and we didnt talk on the way. Inside I remember wanting to scream. Once we got inside, I collapsed. The next thing I remember is him saying oh my god and crying. He could see it. I remember him sobbing and saying he was so sorry he never saw it.

He had the power of God in him very strong, and he preformed only what I can recall as some sort of excorcism on me. I was concious through all of it, but what a strange conciousness it was. The demon didnt like this at all. It had many tricks, one of which included making an illusion of worms crawling out of my face. I could feel them and I screamed and screamed. My friend was there with me in the bed, calling on God and all that is good to cast out the evil spirit. To make sure it knew it wasnt welcome. He did more than call god, I remember him looking right in my {its} eyes and telling it very threateningly to LEAVE me that it was not welcome. This was very strange...feeling "its" emotions and mine at the same time. At one point it started going nuts, and I was thrashing about laughing hysterically {no idea why the laughter}, fits of shaking, the worms like I said, sobbing and yelling fits. Well at some point I could physically feel where it was leached to my head. its emotions grew even more enraged. I was in physical pain at that point, in fact I thought I might die, it felt like my head was boiling, my skin was boiling. I remember crying and saying I was burning and steam coming off.

The next thing I knew, I felt it seperate, both emotionally and physically, and with an odd buzzing sound, we both heard and felt it {it was invisible at that point but you could sorta "see" its energy in the air if that makes sense} and it took off out the room. The pain in me completely left. I cried and cried but it was the greatest sense of peace Ive maybe ever felt. I felt God touch me and tell me he had me.

After that I ate a dinner enough to last a normal person 4 meals..with the greatest joy. Food had never felt so good. I felt completely normal again..like myself. Everything seemed bright and beautiful. I was walking around in awe of flowers and the sky, it was like I was reborn.

About a week later that same entity tried to come back and attack me when I was alone at my house, but I fought it off. I recognized its energy now and it would never have an opportunity to sneak in like before. This is not the only time I have been attacked by dark spiritual entities. There has been other experiances, but I now know immediately when something doesnt "feel right" to fight and fight hard. I also keep in close contact with my God and my personal spirit guides, who are there to help and protect me.

This happened when I was 22 and Im now 25. I cant tell you the amount of changes Ive had in my life since then. I have given up smoking, drinking, drugs, am working on myself physically, mentally and spiritually and I know I will never turn away from God again.

I dont even know what might have happened to me had I not had a friend who happened to be there who knew how to tell an evil spirit to get the hell out of a person. It is things like this circumstance that make me trust that everything happens for a reason and God does put us in the right place at the right time to protect us, if we are willing to reach out and take that guidance.

You are being manipulated and harrassed by unwelcome entities. You are obviously not possessed the way I was, but you MUST fight back now. Turn to whatever God it is you worship {people have many names for the Gods or the allmighty god but its your faith and love that matters, not what you call him}, but overall, be in the light. Despise the dark and the dark things these entities will try and get you to say, do or think. Tell them, sternly and strongly that they are NOT welcome. Ignore them when they try to manipulate you and learn to recognize their manipulations for what they are. I do believe that God can speak to people and does {God has spoken to me} but its a feeling in your heart that should overwhelming you with love, and you KNOW when you are looking towards the light. Darkness will try anything to convince you they are Gods, but in reality they are a thousand times weaker and full of fear and insecurity, that is why they are so manipulative. God or his angels would never say the things these spirits have said to you. They are LIARS. Period.

It is not over for you. Pray to God, reach out to the light. Live breathe and BE love. These beings despise love as its something they never will experiance or even understand. They are the opposite of love. They want you to think its over for you because they want to break you down mentally to the point where they can use you {see with me because I was such a drunk at the time they didnt even really need to, they just saw an opportunity to sneak in and went for it}. You are so much stronger than them they just dont want you to know that!

Dont worry about being judged. If I had told anyone about my possession experiance they would have either laughed or been concerned I was schitsophrenic{sp?}. People fear what they dont understand and put labels on things that scare them. I am far from mentally ill, most people who know me would never even believe such a thing could have happened to me. I am a functioning member of society, a step parent, a member of the work force, etc. If I can go from the darkness Ive been in to where I am now, there is so much hope for you.

I will be praying for you. A lot. Please respond and let me know if you would like to chat on a more personal level. I have instant messengers.

May God and his light bless and protect you. <3
 

 
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