Thank you all for your words of advice and encouragement. You have all given me much to think about.
Harley girl, I have been visiting this forum for quite a while and see that you have recomended that Dr's Light his fire etc before. I got one of her books out of the Library and have been working on in.
One instance I would like to share is. I feel that my relationship with my husband suffers if I do not put 210% in. The other day I placed a paste it note in his wallet reading "I love you". I was very intrested to see what the response would be. Well he came home, I was making supper and nothing was said.
That night when we were in bed he says to me, "You stuck a note in my wallet?" I said "yes"
he said "why? did you take money out?" (Not that he would care, he is not mean with his money) I think he just thought he was being funny.
I said "No, I just wanted to tell you how I felt."
He said "Oh so you were just feeling amouris then where you?"
He then ruffled my hair, turned over and went to sleep.
So not even a I love you too, or that made me feel special or any thing else.
The way I would describe my husband is "Emotionally Flat"
I feel like I do put in 210% most of the time, however I get bored when it is NEVER reciprocated, and quit trying until at some later date something makes me feel like we are heading for disaster so then I start to put in the 210% again. This feels like it has been the pattern all of our 25 married years.
Thank you again for all of your insights. I'm certainly going to give my marriage a very hard work at. Until my youngest child is 18 I would prefer not to consider divorce. I do feel like I choose this road and life is a comprimise and so I do have to see it through for my children.
Trying to get my husband to councelling would be impossible. He thinks they are all wack jobs.