awww, you're very sweet to be nervous for me regarding the road I was going down and trying to help me with the awareness that most of those with ED don't really realize how serious it is until it is too late. Worry not, my friend, although I do have issues with food (this I know), I am very self aware and am also well versed on ED's. Things had started turning bad for me a little over a year ago with that... I was starting to purge semi-regularly, was getting more desparate with my body shape, my difficulty with cravings and my self esteem started to drop. I started to hate the way I look in the mirror - I noticed myself seeing my reflection with much more negativity, much more often, and then not liking to look at myself at all! But. I didn't like the feel of not liking myself. My general self esteem has been high enough that I noticed the shift and the direction I was heading and I decided I had to change how I was reacting to my weight gain. I realized that my lack of control was leading me to think that to lose the weight, I would have to purge more and more.....
So I stopped. I kept researching other stuff, about being healthy, about food issues, etc.. I lost a few pounds, not much, struggled a lot, then found this diet that helps me feel more control over food. I rarely purge (but still occasionally). Although I'm not perfect and would like a nicer figure, I am not allowing myself to hate what I see in the mirror. I won't go down that road. Some of what I see is good, anyway.
That's what I meant when I flirted with Bulemia. The clinical definition has to do with purging 3x or more per week. I never got near that bad, but I started to think about it and I was getting worse. In the end I refused to go that road and literally turned back, and that was all over a year ago, spring 2006. I've been more sensible since then, and although I'm not able to shake my food issues, I'm determined to find a healthy means to handle them. That's where I'm at and progress is very slow with some regressions, but I think overall there is progress, so I am pleased and optimistic. :-)
Thank you again for your sweet concern. I will stick around this forum now & again, though. As I've said, "normal" people don't quite get it and it feels good to connect or read about others who have similar issues and who understand.