No, Young Miss,

this is where you type your posts and then you receive replies, unlike an IM. There is a CZ chat room but usually there are not many people in there.

Hope you have an awesome day!

Peace,
Beth

Yeah, it's not like IMing, but there IS a chat room. There aren't many people in there, most times.

It's not that your dad didn't love you - he just doesn't know what love really is. Of course, you're confused about why you miss your dad after he was so mean and unpredicatble - none of it made any sense then, and it still doesn't make sense, today. What you miss about your dad is what he should have been and could have been, not what he really was. He should have been kind, caring, and good to you and your mama, but he wasn't because he didn't know how to do those things. My ex-husband did the same things and used to tell me that he would shoot himself because of me in front of our sons. It was awful and my sons would get mad at me because they thought that I had done something to make their father want to shoot himself.

Yes, he is responsible for the things that he chose to do. No, you are not responsible for any of the choices that he made. Yes, your mother is a fine human being, an outstanding mother, and someone that you should be very, very proud of. When you get older, you will understand what a courageous, brave, and wise woman she is.

Right now, it's okay for you to feel some confusion and sadness - what should have been a happy family wasn't one. But, if it makes you feel any better, a lot of people lived the same way. I was also fearful and had to leave my husband and both of my sons behind. There's a long, long story behind that and I've had a lot of people ask, "How could you leave your kids?" Like I said, it's a very long story but it does have a happy ending - I'm okay, I'm safe, and I lived to meet someone like your mama who makes me feel loved and valued.

You will be just fine, Lindsay. Everything that you're feeling is normal and, with your wonderful mama's help, you'll grow up to be a smart, wise, confident, and educated woman who will never, ever allow any man (or, woman) to be mean to you or your kids.

Love and hugs!