I think fighting has many facets, sometimes is more "sparring" like a game and it can even be fun and funny at times. A way to release tension and get thoughts accross.

True fights can be hurtful at times, but are necessary if a relationship is to be.

I learned about love and fighting from my children, who no matter what went on the night before, would (and still do) look at me like nothing ever transpired, and open a complete new leaf. It is the most refreshing thing to know that we can express ourselves, and still be loved.

(We are a very expressive bunch though - so it all NEEDS to come out.)

I always remember a saying [we grew up with sayings for EVERYTHING]:

"Don't walk around with a mouth full of water" meaning of course "Spill it out"

or "Better to blush for a second than be pale for the rest of your life" - and believe me, these sayings do come to me when I need them most. So when things need to be hashed out, it is best to do so to clear the air.

With friends, on the other hand we might have more "manners" because they do not share our everydays, and would not necesarily forgive all our shortcomings.

We argue by levels of love - the more you love the more you care enough to argue.

That's my take for the moment...

MadArt (ist)

And isn't today a beautiful day?

I think that that's because we choose our lovers based on our own abberations and their ability to bring them out. Then we have someone to be angry at for all the wrongdoing of our parents. And for as long as there is that emotional baggage, there will be unresolved issues in relationsips.

People don't get angry at those who deserve the emotion; they get angry at whoever is closest. People are also not very good at connecting causes and effects which enable the above to happen.

In friendships we are not as close as in our relationships so we don't get the adequate emotional charge to be able to express those same emotions (closeness is the essential precusor for unloading negative emotion on someone) - except for some really close friendships, which then are similar to relationships. Another exception is when a person has too many emotional issues which are too strong - then they will play them out on almost anyone... (and will in turn be hated by many)