Checking in, tough week ahead, stres... 
pjangel
18 y
1,638
† Cross †
Hey,
This week I meet with a divorce attorney, take my daughter to visit a college, my son will be or is already in Iraq, etc etc. And I haven't explicitly told my husband we are getting a divorce, and I don't have half the information the attorney wants yet, and don't know how to get it without "duplicity". Stressed? Oh, just writing this hurt my gallbladder/liver area, my kidneys (especially left is twinging) my pancreas, whole stomach area, and my neck goes stiff. I had a cranial sacral treatment Friday and when I accidently thought of my husband, something in my head (I don't know much about cs) when tense and the therapist noticed right away. My energy blocks at the base of my neck--my vision goes out and in with my stress levels. Under my right rib cage hurts; my guess liver/gallbladder. And I have to decide quick if I'm going to get my old fillings out--mercury levels a bit high. No stress in my life (hahahahah).
Anyhow, what could you help me with? Send prayers, energy, love, advice (helpful) from anyone who knows me, is welcome. You would be pleased to know, that I'm becoming very more mindful about what goes into my mouth . I ate well on Thanksgiving, and I finally accept that I have to have pure food pure water and high quality of supplements--but then I'm so uncertain which those are. Right now I'm trying to get my nutrition from food. But a couple charlie horses and cramping in various muscle groups makes me guess/intuit that I'm short on calcium. I'm not taking any mineral either.
Cam someone remind me of the minerals and contact info for some out of Salt Lake City, I believe. I can almost remember who (I think finallyfaith?) but I haven't the stamina to look it up,a nd I have to order IMMEDIATELY. I want only the best,and what I have isn't working well enough. I'm learning so much about my body, that it is indeed a temple,and that it is NOT my enemy, but my friend. And I'm asking a lot of it right now.
So send your advice, love and prayers, for myself, my husband, and my family. I cried on Monday--I knew it was our last anniversary (our 27th) and no one remembered. I didn't really WANT to celebrate--but it hurts, because there was a little part of me that had hope, or maybe I just didn't realize it would hurt so much.
Anyway, I'm in good hands--good reflexologist, searchingout "inexpensive" cranial sacral, and the lawyer seems bright and cost efficent. My goal to get through the holidays is questionable (didn't want to tell) since now 2 of my 4 at home children have found out, and I've pretty much told my husband, but not directly. I can't do it perfectly, but I intend it to go amicably if it can. I will always care about, even love my husband, but for the first time in my life that I recall, I love (ouch, even hard to say) myself.
take care all. and please, the contact for those minerals?
thanks,
peace and joy around the corner,
pjangel (and oh do those wings ache)- Pjangel southern belle
18 y
1,553
This is a reply to # 780,230Hi,
I wondered where you have been. I have missed you, but it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I hope you didn't mind, but I copied your post to the Relationship forum since this post deals a lot with that topic.
It sounds like you have your mind made up about the divorce, so I will pray for you and send you as much positive energy as I am able. I am sorry about your son being shipped off to Iraq. That, in itself, is a lot to handle.
I am sorry your husband didn't remember your anniversary. I know that hurt a lot.
Just know that you have a family here at Curezone and we love you a lot.
Paulette- never easy when you need it to be--F... #52320
18 y
1,698
This is a reply to # 780,307Pauletter, when I read your words yesterday I was so touched. Then this morning, when there were no answers or suggestions about the minerals, well, Damn, "family" often lets you down.
I've got jury summons due today (did't 'get' it till Sat) immunization "how to write letter so I don't have to have my son immunized for school", and a 17 year old in crisis TODAY, I have lots of personal pain, and I was REALLY was hoping that either cz family or my memory or paperwork would 'cough' up the name of the mineral company.
I've got to learn not to have expectations of "friends". Or perhaps have more expectations. I am going to make myself some food, try to be grateful instead of hurt that no one responded, and check again after I'm fed. It is always more of a challange when one is in physical pain, and I am. My 21 year old is watching a movie. She was my confrontation this morning, and even though I told her I was overwhelmed, she takes care of herself first. It feels selfish, but since it is what I am trying to learn to do.....sigh.....I told her I was in pain, my period hasn't come in 2 months, and that I was touchy, and she cut me as much slack as her dad does. At least we communicated. She holds it in, doesn't REALLY accept herself, and it is a good distraction to watch a movie. I helped her like crazy when....I'll let it go. I need to feel grateful and this is wasting what little time I have.- Re: never easy when you need it to b... #67813
18 y
1,684
This is a reply to # 780,948Yep, mine daughter is 32 and essentially well off- stock options in Silcon Valley etc.
But ya know I could just use an ear and a shoulder- if she even smells me cracking she heads for the hills
It actually activates an old eating disorder- she can not deal with it
And I do not ask anymore- she has seen brittle strength in me- standing my ground- and pushing against
that when she saw the cracks developing she couldn't handle it
The cracks were healthy and they brought compassion for the years ...not importanat
years of that behavior agaisnt all odds
but no more and I am still going to do the right thing for eveyone concerned, but it is OK to be sad and cry and have the depth of disappointment when I feel personal hurt
So it's just another choice on the human menu-even if it does nothing but relieve tension!
(I used to cry alot, then not at all,just take care of what needs to be done and move ahead-next!)
The real sadness comes from the fact that she is much like me at her age- low tolerance for the non- doers- she will change but at what price? I can already see the forming of the fault lines...and how I love her!- multiply by 5... pjangel
18 y
1,608
MoreThis is a reply to # 784,583Thank you for sharing.
Actually, multiply that by 4--I think number five is a blessing/present/unknown quantity.
I get overcome by all this. Today I need to hold to the message that "all is well". All feels like hell, but it is what it is. Deep sigh.I forget to eat, to breathe, to take care of self. My minerals came.....they seems to strip my mouth and teeth. My vision is so affected by emotions, that I can't see to read if I'mtaking them wrong.
pj
- multiply by 5... pjangel
18 y
1,608
- Re: never easy when you need it to b... #67813
18 y
1,684
- never easy when you need it to be--F... #52320
18 y
1,698
- Pjangel southern belle
18 y
1,553
Share:
Translate This Page: