i am 18 (male). Ever since i was 13 i've been fascinated with female asses. They turn me on. so i wondered what it was like to fuck a girl in the ass so i pictured i was a girl and fingered myself. this turned me on. but then i would finger myself only to get me horny so i could masterbate (thinking about girls).
i know that the fingering stimulates my g-spot and prostate gland.
but i have had a few times (rare times) where i fantasised i was been fucked by guys. but, who they were fucking weren't me because i 've dissociated myself from my body. i pictured i was a girl in a porn movie gettting fucked by guys as i penetrated myself with a carrot. that thought just adds to the excitement.
i am not confused of which sex i like because girls turn me on and i don't find guys to be sexually attractive. i can't tell if a guy is handsome.
i've heard many guys like to dress up as girls cos it turns them on, and that doesn't make them gay. or does it?
i still have the fear of guys seeing me as feminine, because my body isn't that masculine. you see, i am very attracted to feminine legs. they turn me on easily. so when i was young i thought i had feminine legs. but really, young guys' legs don't look that masculine.
i know, however, that when i train and develop a masculine build, i won't have all those thoughts.
its really hard sometimes when i get the impulse to finger myself. it just feels good. thats where all of the sort of gay thougts came in. but other times when i see myself as a man and look back to the things i 've thought about, it turns me off, it really turns me off, and i regret doing it.
i am confused, please help me. read between the lines if u can.