taije
Totally been there babe!! I don't think it's about "caving in to today's thinking", I think it's about a naturally curious and frustrated woman.
Me, being a woman and almost 22 in a month, I totally understand where you are. I didn't lose my virginity until a year ago. Now hear me out. I didn't have a one night stand. I so could have, but it wasn't in my heart, and one night stands never really have been either.
I didn't feel pressured to have sex by the oh-so-scary-outside world, which is what some people will make you think you are experiencing. It's natural! Why would nature have bestowed such an amazing gift on us, only to torture outselves into thinking that we had to give it up now or wait until we're old and gray and FINALLY get married?
I will not tell you that the first time I had sex was fabulous. And neither was the person I was with. But I learned from it and I was smart about it (i.e.- wearing a condom). Was I pressured? No. Was I in love? No. Do I regret it? No. I'm not scarred from a failed attempt, I'm wiser. Now I have a wonderful person to share this wisdom with. He doesn't care that I've only been with one person, and he shouldn't.
If you feel the need to have sex, no one can stop you but yourself. But I think you're right in the education aspect of looking at it. Don't put too much pressure on yourself babe. Believe me I know virgins older than you. Dont' let someone else feel like they need to conquer you. You seem much stronger than that.
Hope that helped a bit
~Taije