Yeah mtnndeww... that is exactly what I thought of when I was in those shoes with my husband... I didn't want him to go looking for it somewhere else but I also needed to know he cared when I was tired or stressed... I have no problem showing him it isn't "all about me" but I want that in return sometimes too... and from time to time when life closes in on me & I don't feel like being groped & humped he steps back & uses a different approach (which is usually a more gentle touch & he asks what I need...& actually tries to give me what I need) and that always gets me... feeling loved, appreciated & not pressured when I'm already stressed puts me in a much better mood & I usually end up giving him what he was seeking in the first place.... but don't think I am like that all the time because any man would get sick of ALWAYS having to do that... nope!!! sometimes when he gropes or humps I just give it right back (what man doesn't want his woman to respond like that sometimes?) When it comes down to it both sides have needs & both are equally important & valid & life is better when both understand that & do their part.

Perhaps you have heard of the very well educated doctor who wrote: YOUR BODY'S MANY CRIES FOR WATER".

Not only was he and his family successful in Iran, but when he was imprisoned by the Ayatollah bunch and sentenced to death, he became famous for curing all manner of things with just the judicious use of water.

After his escape and re location to America, he has become very well known for his healings and lectures.

In his book, and follow up books, and videos he has made this scientific analysis of anal sex.

First of all, the female vagina is a marvelous place, for not only do the secretions protect it from all manner of normal attempts at infection, but it also can contend with the invasion of the sperm...(sounds like a Japanese movie)....which normally, or in other parts of the body, would be considered by the immune system to be an invader that needs to be taken out.

In addition, the vagina is not only constructed for a rather forceful activity, but with each bath of sperm the walls are actually re inforced, thickened and made more healthy...with NORMAL diet and healthy people in a monogamous relationship, that is.

Now contrast that with the tissue in "that other place".

It is thin, tears rather easily since it is NOT designed for vigorous "activity", etc.

But not only that, there is no protection against the invasion of sperm, which contain the necessary elements to overcome the efforts of the immune system to kill them.

So now imagine those tiny tears in the rectum that allow immediate entrance into the blood stream, not ONLY of the sperm, which are at that point invulnerable to the immune systems effort, but also allows direct entrance to the highly toxic material that is harbored in that area that was designed to disgorge you know what, and NOT to receive a very delicate part of a man.

For his penis has that very convenient hole at the top for all manner of the most toxic material you can imagine, or a colony of pinworms or hookworms to enter, to have free access to the most delicate area and operation of a man. And soon his prostate and testicles can become infected and life can be a living hell for him for a long long time, perhaps a lifetime.

It is Dr "B's" contention that AIDS is a direct result of this use of an organ that was not meant to be used for that purpose, for the sperm readily overcome any initial immune system effort and that gradually brings the immune system to a state where the other viruses, etc overwhelm the system and one could find themselves in a life threatening mode.

Read his material. Do a web search for YOUR BODY'S MANY CRIES FOR WATER and follow links to Dr "B's" other educational efforts. Back trouble? His video is as educational, with graphics, as you could ask for.

Is he right about the possible root cause of AIDS?

I don't know, but I DO know that your "impatience", as you put it, can possibly lead you down a path that prudence would say to avoid.

In this age, where men and woman alike have the sickest and most toxic colons in history, the answer is easy for me.

I believe anal intercourse with ejaculation is safe. It will just come out in the next bowel movement if not before. What would be REAL safe is if he used a condom. NEVER allow him to go from anal sex back to vaginal sex though without removing the condom or washing. The bacteria in fecus could definately cause problems if it gets into your vagina.

Talk to him seriously as soon as possible. If not, the resentment you develop for him will cause bigger problems in the relationship.