and for myself 
pjangel
19 y
1,567
Andreas,
"Holding a space" is a healing technique I've learned about recently. And so, I'm "holding a space" for myself and my own healing.
I know I must search my heart carefully; there are so many questions on this healing journey, and I want of course, to ask the 'right' one; although I'm learning that trying to do it 'perfectly' is one of my problems.
Thank you. I feel richly blessed and that after all many years of pain and turmoil, that healing is finally within reach.
I have a second degree burn on my arm. I couldn't "let go"--it would have made a mess. I was carrying too many things, trying not to 'bother' anyone. So I yelped for help, and by the time my sleepy husband could figure out how to help me, I had REALLY burned myself. I treated it with lavendar, and dowsed it with aloe vera--but the pain was incredible for over an hour. I just kept thinking--"pain is my friend'" be with it, think, center....I did well, BUT....
My heart is aching....why couldn't I just "let go"? It would have saved me such pain. But it would have been "messy". Maybe letting go IS messy?
Andreas, when do we know when to let go and when to hold on? I wish it were just a physically hot object I'm speaking of, because the physical pain, to me, is nothing compared to emotional pain. I know if I could learn this lesson, in an emotional/spiritual sense, I could spare myself so much pain. Is there any way to know when to do which? When to let go, when to hold on? I'm asking: From small things (simple aggravations like computer crashes) to huge things like marriage, children, siblings, family relationships. I WOULD apply the simple rule,from a favorite song "if it's not love, simply let it go", but does that mean if there IS love involved that you hold on? And how do you hold on or let go without pain? I'm ready for this lesson. I may have the scar to prove it (smile)
peace and joy in the journey
pjj
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- Re: and for myself Andreas Moritz
19 y
2,276
This is a reply to # 496,325If it is still a fresh scar, you may want to apply poultices of wet Pascalite clay, green clay, or bentonite clay (mix with water until creamy). This can accelerate the healing prevent major scarring.
It isn't something you want to make into a rule to follow every time somehting like that happens. The accident was no accident. It was related to a previous life experience that involved you burning someone, and this was a way to extinguish the fire of guilt. You needed to experience that fire or pain for a while before calling or asking for help. Otherwise, you woould have had to have another accident to clear the rest of it. The main rule to all of this is not to create a rule, but to take each situation as it is, for what it is - a non-coicidental occurrence that is in your best interest even if you don't understand the why. Once something has happend to you, there is not much point in looking for the bad reasons behind it, but there is plenty of reason to expect something good to come of it. Whenever we choose to see something as being negative we create that effect. Our resistance to it doesn't allow is to let go of it. And so we cause a repeat situation again and again until we finally accept the situation, accident, person as is and look for the good reason. This way our energies are directed to create the positive outcome of the presumed negative event. You always create your own life situation, one way or another. I wouldn't ponder over all this too much. Just take each moment as a blessings, even if it disguised as a problem. All problems are opportunities for growth.
Blessings,
Andreas
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- Burns....thanks, and understandings pjangel
19 y
1,404
This is a reply to # 496,377Andreas,
I used the bentonite clay; now the burns are pink skin. Continue with bentonite or move to something else? I think I soaked in too many tubs of epson salts....
The past life explanation didn't resonate--it was a lot closer than that. I sometimes feel that use "past life" beliefs as a scapegoat, when, in my case, it was choices I was making right then and there. You couldn't know--you only know the part of the story I shared. But reading your response, I knew.
I was 'burning mad" and I didn't realize it. My husband had finally said what I'd waited to hear for at least 20 years (we just 'celebrated' our 26th anniversary--we'd been married during Thanksgiving holiday all those years ago) AFTER I told him my body was in too much pain to converse....it was 5 a.m., I'd been laying awake. but still downstairs for 3 or 4 hours to let my circadian rhythms do whatever they needed, but I was hurting physically and emotionally.
He said, finally, "How is our relationship ever going to get better if we don't communicate?"
I've been saying that verbally for 12 years. So that's a good thing that HE said it? Except that it came from HIS discomfort--and after I'd explained a week before, although I loved him, and had been 'available' and seldom, over the past 26 years, refused his desire for physical intimacy, that, I was giving myself some time to figure things out.
I'd believed that because our communication was poor, and money was tight, that the physical aspect of our marriage was what had held it together for the past 12 years, and I must try to be available regardless of how depressed or uninterested I was. I just decided to let that fear go, and take the burden "of keeping the marriage together" off MY shoulders. It's a MARRIAGE--it takes TWO. I do love him; he is a good father, but ....
So after our little 'non-conversation" he said, "Okay" and went back to sleep and closed the door to the bedroom and bathroom, leaving me to deal with my physical pain alone. I was trying to carry my tea, my vitamix filled with blended green things (parsely, greens, etc) and a jug of distilled water, and bending to open the door (I'm thinking, I'll be nice and not 'disturb' him, but why in the bleep did he close the door, he could see I'd need to get though , and I SAID I was in pain, and he just goes to sleep....I'm angry and trying to be 'considerate'--I'LL SHOW HIM who the nice person is....yea, right... and I spilled the boiling tea as I leaned to get to doorknob....I had long johns on (it's cold downstairs) and ....it was no accident. I was hurting; I got hurt. I was boiling mad. My feelings we "boiling". I've seen the pattern-- If I get angry, leave the 'present moment', and am focused on making a case against him(blaming), I get physically hurt. Boiling tea, boiling wife. The truth is, I'm carrying too much in this relationship, and it hurts me that even if I "cry for help" by moving downstairs, it's up to me. He couldn't help me with the burn--didn't know where any of the things I use for burns are. He choses not to be interested in my life, and acts annoyed if I ask about his. I used to share to much; now I'm letting it go. I've quit pushing him to share. And I'm not forcing the communication. I'm taking care of myself for the first time....and I'm still not 'sure' I can. What a mess.
So, I'm grateful for the burn and what I'll learn from it...yet, as you advised " I wouldn't ponder over all this too much. Just take each moment as a blessings, even if it disguised as a problem. All problems are opportunities for growth"
And sometimes growth is painful AND messy.
Perhaps there are a lot of 'scars' to be healed.
pjangel (his nickname for me is 'angel'. But my wings feel broken right now, I need to take care of me instead of everyone else first...that's new...and not easy)
- Burns....thanks, and understandings pjangel
19 y
1,404
- Re: and for myself Andreas Moritz
19 y
2,276
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