A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
clinic. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed
away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you
haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might
just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room, and returned a few moments later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in
amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet
with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the
dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later
with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table
and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly
and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but
as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a
few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the
woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the
bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my
duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word
for it, the bill would have been only $20, but what
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan ...."