Of course, that cannot be truly imagined since we are only human and cannot truly imagine God's ways and abilities. Very often, the concept of love is tossed around and abused, misused, distorted, treated like a philosophy and made a cliche.
I fell in love with the Creator at a very young (3 or4) age mainly because my family was such a failure (very politely called a 'dysfunctional family', the clinical name cannot express the seriousness of it). Basically, I ended up with a distorted view of the world and became depressed. At the same time, I was an idealist (loving good and right and true). I was mistrustful about what the world had to say about God, so I didn't know His name or His truth until I was 32.
Today, I wouldn't limit myself to saying that I'm a 'God Believer',...I'm a 'God Lover'. I do not walk by faith, I walk by love (I know, scripture gives us the impression that we should walk by faith, BUT, God is LOVE, you make your own PERSONAL choice, God wants a PERSONAL relationship). This is the problem that many Christians experience with faith. Institutional Christianity teaches faith as SEPARATE from everything else a Christian is. God is INTEGRAL (all encompassing, complete and whole as the volume of a circle). Faith is PRIMARY, but love is the "greatest of these" (1 Corinthians 13:13). The book of Job is thought to be a story of faith, and many Christians feel they don't have enough faith to endure what Job did, but the book of Job was a LOVE story. The Lord knows that we are mere mortals and at times, our faith will not be sufficient for our everyday experiences, so He put little tidbits in scripture for those who care about what HE says instead of those who care about what the scholars say in the commentaries ("Make love your aim" 1 Corinthians 14:1), after all, love NEVER FAILS. So, if you consider yourself a believer, move up the ladder and become a "Godlover" because faith should be borne out of love.
I've always considered God "MINE" (of course He is OURS, but I'm posessive), but since my father is dead, it became easier to truly view God as my FATHER instead of the OVERSEER of Christianity (which Institutional Christianity teaches).
Forgiveness is something that is very misunderstood because of human nature. Forgiveness (on the HUMAN level of understanding) is only necessary when a person FIRST holds another person in contempt (when you hold something against another person whether you are the victim or not), but God is never a victim and suffers no consequences from your actions. God loves you no matter what, He might give you a dirty look once in a while, but He loves you still.
You're not becoming materialistic (in the strict sense), when you buy things or do things for yourself, you are catering to and acknowledging someone who is very important to you, someone who actually defines life as you know it,...YOU. You are telling yourself that you are alive and deserves to be happy. Your inner SELF (the self that "I am who I am" Exodus 3:14 made) is calling. Do you see now how your "dysfunctional" family is driving you insane? Probably the only thing that has kept you sane this long is participating on Curezone. Get out of the house and keep a distance from your family while you're still sane.
Of course God won't abandon you (that's silly talk). Whatever you do in life, you'll always have a home to return to like the Prodigal Son because the Divine Son (Jesus) will always be there waiting.
If you're 'prayer' life isn't what it used to be, take it up with The Lord, but you're going to have to talk to Him in order to do that (that's what He really wants, problem solved).
The minimum requirements of a holy person are written in the word of truth (bible),
but the word of God (Hebrews 11:3) wants us to be like "I am who I am". When we welcome the Spirit into our hearts, we are given the sword that divides between good and evil (Ephesians 6:17), not a journal so that we can keep track of how many sins have been committed. I am saying this because I know that you are feeling the burden of the rigor of devotion (Colossians 2:23).
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