You surprise me, Been There.
I've not thought of anything I had to do to feel better, as particularly exceptional in any way.
My poor parents thought of themselves as 'needing correction', as they raised us to think. And as they had been raised, just the same as my grandparents.
The 'sin' wasn't so much in the corporal punishment anyone meted out, but in the l-a-c-k of understanding of real human feelings the young grew up with.
If you don't see it, feel it, you don't know it exists.
Luckily, I grew up in the time when there was no 'medical' help for feeling bad. And we were non-drinkers.
Also, I kept shut, for the most part.
The feelings came, eventually; the feeling of bonding with your child, the feeling of true romantic love.
This last nearly swamped me, because the circumstances were so inappropriate, but I came to understand that I was learning my own feelings, and I slowly came to more maturity.
If I can do any good by posting this here, it is this -
Our parents may have lacks, and pass them on to us; and, if we can hold on, if we can avoid making really serious mistakes with permanent consequences, our beautiful inside person will reveal more possibilities.
We DON'T "have to" stay stuck. There is always a way to grow. We just won't know how until we see better choices to make.
Believe in yourself, everyone, with everyone else a close second, as one book says.
I add this - choose the adults in your everyday life for the evidence of their maturity, self-responsibility, and their kind goodwill/respect for your individuality; and return the favor.
An adult is always responsible for a child's well-being, of course.