Hello Gracey,

Its good to hear from you again. I know exactly what you mean! I have learnt a lot about myself recently, I have actually been b/v free for MONTHS at a time, something always happens and I give in that once, which then becomes twice, etc. I have to give myself a stern talking to, and pull myself back inline. It gets very depressing. I need to value myself more, not rush around waiting on everyone. I think sometimes we forget where we've been when things are more normal, and so its very easy to slip back a few paces. I try not to think of it as 'back to square one' when I slip. I used to, and it doesn't help one bit. All the things learnt about yourself, the e.d., other ways to cope, etc, are all still there, but you do need to drag them to the front of your head occassionally! I have started to do EFT recently, and that helps a lot. I HAVE to get this thing sorted., I need to be healthy for my kids. It plays havoc with the IBD and the anaemia. I get so that I'm a walking wreck, and that's just not me.

Best wishes.

hi Gracey,
I'm new to this forum so I'm not sure about your story or your current situation... but I've had anorexia/ed-nos for almost 5 years...I made an attempt at recovery over this past summer, but I wasn't fully ready for it so it just didn't work out. I had no support, I just dove right in thinking that I could suddenly fix everything, but it didn't work.. I hadn't even admitted my ED to anyone yet, even though I knew it was a huge problem and so did everyone else. It's an incredibly hard thing to let go of, because you can't just hold on to a tiny little part of your eating disorder, "just in case" you ever need it again- you have to really try to let go, or it's just too easy to fall back on it at the first sign of adversity. I've learned so much about myself in the past 6 months...I've finally come to terms with the fact that I do have an ED, and although there is never going to be a sudden revelation as to why I developed one, I'm starting to realize the main factors that contributed to it.... and all of my personality traits that made me so susceptible to it (you know the usual..extreme perfectionism, intelligent, overly sensitive, caring, the peacemaker among the family, etc)...So I understand myself and my behaviors a lot more than I did last year or the year before, but that still leaves me here with this addiction to hunger. such a hard thing to deal with... it is still ruining my health... but I hope that I can recover one day.
What is your story..are you recovered? What ED did you/do you have? Have you been through treatment?

I hope everyone is doing okay... take care (well, try to!). Have a good night...

-Amanda