i've had obsessive compulsive disorder for the last 14 years or so. i was suffering from uncontrollable obsessive and compulsive thoughts.
it probably started when i was 16, 17 years old, around this time. by the time i was 18 i was trapped in hell and couldn't participate in normal life anymore. or so i felt. i stopped going to school. my parents freaked out totally. visits to psychologists, psychotherapists, stays at psycho-clinics followed. everything to no avail. up to that point the OCD hasn't been diognosed yet. different psycho-experts were saying different things, like: borderline-syndrome, reluctance to participate in daily activities, panic attacks. it was all sort of true but did not describe the real problem. that changed when my father found a private clinic which seemed to specialize in treating my kind of problems when i was 21. there they saw the problem right away: obsessive compulsive disorder. as with every OCD the underlying problem was fear. in my case social fear. means: fear of people. fear of being rejected, judged, looked upon by other people. what they taught me was of unique value for me. they taught me to handle the obsessive thoughts and so the fear in a way that they would no longer control me but me them. what and how they did that is a unique and the ONLY method to treat OCD successfully (seen from the behavioral perspective). from then on i was again able to fully participate in life. i went back to school, after school attended university, was working. i was "functioning" as i was supposed to.
but i couldn't say that after the private clinic i was cured. it was not so. i learned to handle the OCD in the right way. i learned to deal with it. and with time the obsessive thoughts became less controlling, less paralysing. they were still there, but i didn't fear them anymore. and with every year that passed and that i continued to live my life they became less and less pronounced.
but something remained. some kind of sadness. or melancholy. an inability to fully enjoy life. i often got asked by people: "are you sad?" or "are you angry?" and could never understand what they were talking about. it was so normal for me - this kind of light feeling of sadness or depression. for me it was the remnants of the OCD, but since i had been living with it for so long, it became normal for me. i wasn't conscious of it anymore.
then, ca. 1 year ago i accidentally came across dr. william douglass' "hydrogen peroxide. medical miracle" in which he describes the universal healing power of hydrogen peroxide (h2o2). from then on i started taking h2o2 baths. then moved to italy and since i didn't have a bath tub at hand started to drink the h2o2 in diluted form. since i didn't have the book by me anymore i confused the concentraions and messed up my stomach. so i started to sniff it.
that's when i hit the jackpot.
i wasn't aware of it at the time, though. i remember the first time i put some drops in my nose and sniffed them up vigorously as dr. douglass recommends, i thought that i got kicked by a horse. there was a moment of mental and visual clearity. and that stuff BURNED!! hell, did it BURN!! from then on i always diluted it to 1 or 1,5%, although it still burns, every time, but not so viciously anymore. the mental clearity always lingered on for some time, 2 maybe 3 hours, after which i repeated the procedure. then, after 2 or 3 weeks of regular sniffing i became aware of an inner tranquility. a positive attitude. positive thoughts. a serenity. really cool. but back then i attributed it more to my newly positive finacial and working situation. but since my working situation has rather messed up since then the feeling of tranquility, and serenity is still there. it has become even stronger ever since.
maybe 1 month into h2o2 sniffing i discovered urinetherapy and that's when the things became really intergalactic.
i mean i just see love everywhere. yo, guys, don't laugh, but it's true. when i lie in my bed before i go to sleep, and think about the people i know, i got to know, things that happened, i just feel LOOOVE. it's so spaced out. me, having ever had fear of people? it's a joke, right?! i just lie there and KNOW that things will turn out for the good. it's so cool.
as i have found out through my research this feeling is usually associated with urinotherapy. ancient indian scriptures which speak of shivambu (indian for UT) mention this feeling of enlightment, being closer to god, being united with the universe - stuff like that. i've never really taken these things seriously - untill they hit me right in the face!
and it REALLY is the combination of those 2 things - the h2o2 and the urine, because whenever i discontinue the sniffing (it's not the most pleasant thing to do, it burns every time. but it's worth it.), i still feel the positive attitude and stuff from the pee but it is not sooo strong. and whenever i start to sniff again, it comes back again.
so, i am sure, that at least 1 cause of my OCD was a biological one. in the sense that there must have been present some candida, or yeast or fugus or viral infection or all of it in my body. h2o2 is known to have antiviral, antifungal, anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties. the same with urine (check out the urine-forum. in one of the blogs i placed links to some interesting sites about it.). i have been a chocalate junkie all my life, and we already know that Sugar
is a main contributor to candida problems. i also had the usual drug history: regular use of painkillers (paracetamol), Antibiotics
, aspirin - all contributors or creators of candida, yeast, fungi.
so i would STRONGLY recommend those two things to anybody with OCD or depression.
it has changed my life.
i feel like i am 12 again.
rasta and peace