Chef,
you have to realise that candida is the forgotten disease.
> she will NOT eat in front of others,but expects a plate to take home,which we wonder if she actually eats.I'd say it's been a good 6 years since I have seen her put food in her mouth and chew it right in front of me,so you understand my concern on this.
Yep I totally understand your concern. Its not what healthy people would call "normal" behaviour. But we aren't healthy. There are many reasons why someone with candida would prefer to eat alone.
1. We have to schedule our meals (because of lack of digestive power).
2. We are often hyper-sensitive to excessive stimuli, especially when eating we need calm.
To a healthy person I imagine this sounds crazy - heck it sounds crazy to me!
I wouldn't necessarily say that she has an eating disorder. Like I said I looked like a concentration camp survivor too. I also usually prefer to eat alone for various reasons.
>I'm Italian and a chef,so food is a huge part of daily life for me and I am trying very hard to comprehend the illness because she is my family.
Your love of family is evident! All I can say is that in cultures where food is a big part that this disease is *even more* devastating - because you lose that communal bond.
You are right that you are not in a position to tell her what to do. The only person that can cure her is herself. But you can be a friend. This doesn't mean being a doormat, or agreeing with everything she says. But just being there and trying to understand - which is what you are doing.
> but family is all you've got
Amen to that!
I'll tell you something else which may help you understand this disease. Did you know that the human gut is actually our 2nd brain? Seriously! It is where 95% of the body's seratonin is produced. And its the only part of the body which has an automic nervous system - the gut has a mind of its own. One reason it needs this incredible intelligence is because it is the body's first line of defense - 80% of our immune system is in the gut. You know the way that we use language to describe our feelings, hunches - a gut feeling, having knots in your stomach, etc. it all revolves around the intelligence of the gut.
Now imagine this organ has been taken over by a foreign invader. Not only does it affect your physical body, but it also creates emotional turmoil. The gut is where the outside world literally meets the inside (technically the gut is considered to be outside the body). Emotionally it corresponds to your sense of self - where the world ends and "you" begin. Imagine if that fragile barrier has been compromised. Your very self-identity can be shattered.
JV.