Hey There "yemaya"-
It's always nice hearing about others experiences in relation to battling depression, anxiety, and a host of other cognitive disorders. I was diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder my senior year in college at Cal State. At first I thought my life was over as many do, and was going to be "Thrown In A Straight Jacket", where I would would be fed a steady diet of Psychotropic meds.
I have since married the love of my life, purchased my first home, and just had a beautiful baby boy. My battle/struggle with Bi Polar disorder is something I undoubtedly will have to battle all my life..."That's Okay With Me As Long As I Win The War". I agree with you 100% in relation to Psychotropic medication......."They Stink". The only medication I'm currently taking is Seraquil for sleep, however I'm trying to wean myself off of that.
It sounds like you and I have many parallels in our lives. There has/were periods the depression(s) have been so debilitating I was unable to work.
If you can please share with me what's worked for you that would be awesome. Running/Excursive is a great way to increase Phenalthymine(SPELLING)? levels in those who are depressed. It's been shown in countless studies that those who are depressed have 60-70% less of this naturally occurring chemical in their bodies then that of the "Normal Person".