"unable to continue living like I do, fuzzy-brained and making mistakes at work and socially and being terrified all the time, but at the same time, psychologically I cannot seem to be even more terrified of everything that can possibly happen - be it failing and sliding into complete hopelessness and despair or succeeding and facing the social consequences - the loneliness, the ostracism, the taunts, the lack of support, etc. Last but not least, I may become visible on men's radar as a sex object, and in my past experience men do not care how much they hurt you as long as they get to get off so when one approaches me, I feel terrified and in danger;".
Well, congratualtions for honesty--because that's a great step forward. Huge! My top suggestion. I would look into EFT. You can learn it yourself. You use it, in the privacy of your own honesty--at your own pace, which means you can reveal all. And really make progress. The great thing too, is, the more you do it, the more intutitve and sharper you get; it makes you tune in better. What makes it work best is being able to articulate what is bothering you, and you seem to have a good gasp on that. (but sometimes, you can address "all these feelings, or "all these contradictions", as well.) Don't worry about contradiction, and all that. EFT can handle it. Here's how:
I'd get a notebook just for the EFT and write down these isssues in some kind of point form. Just as they come to you--you can come back to deal with them at a later time. But sometimes you get a big insight about how you are blocked--when you do, write it down. Your post here is very rich for mining. :-) These point form notes turn into you "setup" phrases, and when you do the EFT you re-calibrate your body's (and your whole energy system's) responses to these outmoded, programmed beliefs, old tapes, and old fears. . . whatever is not of your truest self, and in line with your greatest potential gets either transformed or just dissolves.
When the knots sre undone, and the energy is flowing freely (without fear and confusion)then it'll be easy to move past such obstacles as the concept of being left all alone; or the fear of becoming attractive. < Trust me: that's a big one with a lot of history, for lots of people. Who could be very greatly helped with some EFT.
You might like to start at EMOFREE.com.
After learning EFT you'd address these notebook issues one at a time. (the notebook allows you also to 'let go' of having to carry all the luggage of remebering all the problems. There is LUG in luggage) It's very helpful, i think, at the place you are at, to work for 15 minutes to half an hour a day-- this can be just tapping while you are sitting relaxing. . .Very soon you will see results.
Fears drop away; issues that bothered you suddenly give you a 'so what' response. you start peeling the onion, and whatever comes up, you simply 'tap on that'. It's actually very enjoyable.
I've been doing it long enough noe that I can do it in public, just thinking of the tapping points--thus not having to attract attention, if I don't want it. It's as useful for a sudden pain or headache as for deep long-seated issues. The thing is, I really don't care, one way or the other about lots of things that used to bother me--and that's what EFT can do, is make you accepting and neutral to what previously caused a block of energy, one way or the other; acting 'out', or closing down. Don't make the mistake of thinking if you are 'accepting' it means you are going to attract unwanted stuff into your life. No, it's more that you allow others the freedom to choose how they want to be,and you give yourself the same power--and there is no need for any more wars.
Anyway, that's enough of an intro. Hope you try it--A number of people have said, always say, 'oh, I know about it, but have never done it'. It might sound redundant to say this, but, that won't help. "knowing about it", or hearing about it, and doing nothing to learn and practise it, won't change anything. doing it can change a LOT.