I've had it for over 20 years. It has certainly diminished the quality of my life, but there are lots of people with herpes looking for love.
And I lived with one man for two years, who is a doctor. He did not have herpes and he never caught it from me. He was so certain that he could not catch it from me, unless he came in contact with a lesion, that he wasn't afraid of having sex with me when I was having an outbreak... as long as the sore was on my back, where we could put a bandaid over it.
I sometimes break out on my labia, sometimes on my back, and other times on my leg.
Well anyways, he never caught it from me, and we had sex while I was having an attack on my back with a bandaid over the sore. You can't put a bandaid over the attack if it is on your labia, of course, only if it is on your back or leg.
For years the CDC said you could not catch herpes from someone unless they were having an attack. Then they started saying you could get it any time due to viral shedding. But that has NOT been my experience.
I wonder if maybe a bunch of people were pretending they didn't have it and having sex anyways and spreading it around, so the CDC tried to diminish the epidemic by coming up with this viral shedding theory.
Or maybe there is a new strain that has mutated. Who knows? If so, then I'm glad I don't have it.
If there is more than one strain, it is very important NOT to expose yourself to any more open lesions, because you could get another strain. So don't have sex with anyone who is having an attack. And don't have sex with anyone who is having an attack, if it is on their genitalia and you cannot avoid contact with it. JMHO, take my advice with extreme caution...
There are lots of people who have herpes. They want to love and be loved in return.