Thanks and best of luck to you. I actually completely know how you feel to compare your current self to how you used to be. This morning my mom even said to me, "what happened to you? you used to be gorgeouse and have so much energy. You did this to yourself". And she's right. I did do this to myself as a careless teenager who didn't realize that candida grew on retainers. I finally pinpointed what gave me this infection. High amounts of candida grow on anything that is manmade that you insert into your body.. like retainers and I was the girl who from grade nine until two years ago.. so for the past seven years we'll say, who would take her retainer out in the morning and stick it on the bedstand only to stick it back in that night without cleansing it properly/if at all. So.. now I know my cause.. but I don't know where to start tending to it as diet alone doesn't seem to help and I seem to just be congested in my liver and gallbladder despite past cleanses that released stones. I just have a lot more cleaning to do. It sucks when you realize it's self-made, but I guess if I caused it.. I can (fingers crossed) heal it too. It has really affected my ability to perform to the best of my ability. It really made me have to try so hard in school, harder than I should have and I'd make silly little errors here and there because it felt/today even feels, like my brain is in a fog/shut down/can't make connections.
So frustrating. Also romantically, it's a challenge too. Between the yeast infections to not feeling pain when fingered, it's just.. a headache. It's beneficial when it feels right and you feel tended for and love can heal all, but.. the road to that true love can really be painful/stressful too. Especially when you are dealing with something like this.
Thanks for listening to me vent. I also wish people were more understanding.