Dad passed 5 years ago this month to Esophageal Cancer (he was 85) ...actually it wasn't the cancer but "morphine" given by one of my brothers that hastened his time with us. He did not have chemo or radiation...just a stint and the family was doing round the clock care and dad was up for the fight. We had a plan (my plan/maybe that was the problem) or so I thought to nurse him back to health. He may not have lived forever (he always said he wanted to live to be 100) but he might have lasted a bit longer. He was a fighter, optimistic and had a reason to live (he loved playing the harmonica in a group for the elderly lol) It's a long story with a lot of family fallout and me as the bad guy!
Mom already had progressed into Alzheimer's. She'd taken a fall (caused by a urinary infection)about a year or so earlier and landed in the hospital. I can't remember the whole series of events except that after they told me they wouldn't be putting her on medications because it would make things worse, they then put here on them. I had left the hospital at the time and found out through another brother about them putting her on medications. I almost lost it. One was Risperdal...can't recall the others.
Long story short ... mom was going nuts, stronger that 3 men...it was an ugly thing to see and then of course she wouldn't eat. As her bruises and infection cleared up they moved her to a transitional place (like a home) where I thought the plan was to wean her off the medications so we could take her home. But they had other plans with additional medications they wanted her on. When we would go to see her she was like a wet noodle and then when I asked if she ate they would say that she wasn't hungry or something to that effect, so we had to schedule our visits during meals.
At one time I made it known that I wanted her off the medications ... the doctor didn't like that and pulled her off of them all at once and then called us saying that she was up all night banging on the doors.
I talked to a nurse friend of mine about the medications and what to do and got her the heck out of there. Stayed close ...got her bowels moving and her eating again.
So at that point she was as mentioned on no medications, and lived that way for the next year or so ... then dad...
Dad as mentioned was back on the morphine (after family fights/threats etc) I'd been there half the night and part of the day...dad was shutting down, shaking, teeth chattering ... couldn't get out of bed...and I hugged him and asked him if he wanted to go home. And he shook his head yes.
I went home to take a shower and quick nap...when they called that they were taking dad out of the house to the hospital and mom was going ballistic.
Before dad was gone the family was talking about homes for mom. Then after some discussion I thought we had decided to give mom some time to just grieve and live at home for a while and continue the rotation. Then my brother's son (the morphine brother) called to tell me that there would be no round the clock with mom until my oldest brother took mom to the doctor and had her put on medication (apparently her actions that night scared them/and they were not understanding that she had just seen the man she had lived with for almost 60 years taken away from her).
I told my nephew that I'd be taking mom to the doctor and took mom in from then ... We did go to the doctor but her doctor is against putting the elderly on drugs just because you can. And said that they don't work for the most part anyway...and that she was too far gone for the only one that might have worked.
Since all of this the family has not recovered. Morphine brother and his family has not seen mom or us except for once about 8 months ago when I took my mom to my 3rd brothers anniversary party. (boy could I have used a sister lol)
We do give her our liquid vitamin, liquid Vitamin D3, protein shakes (we call them chocolate milk) and she eats really good and generally walks around a lot (until recently with the swollen feet), moving things, tapping on everything, tries to fold clothes, gives lots of hugs and kisses.
I knew about the coconut oil but haven't really tried it...but now might give it a go.
Thanks again to all,
Now you have the rest of the story!! lol!