God, forgive me. I try not to ask for so much help if I don't have to, but I've hit a very big wall. I can't do this anymore. I am physically, mentally and spiritually unable to continue the way things are. I don't know how I have managed, it has not been from my own will- it's been from some outer source. I am greatful, I have always been blessed. I am thankful that I've come here, and have been able to love, to laugh and to experience good things. I am so greatful for my siblings whom have taught me how to love.
I need prayers tonight. I can't continue like this and I am afraid that I am going to do something about it. I have been ill a long time, and I finally realize- I understand that I may never get well. It kills me to say those words. I want to be well, but I've gone through too much already and I don't think I have the presence of mind to go through more.
I need help. I can't ask for it, but I need it so badly. I can't go through this alone anymore. I can't live alone like this anymore, or spend every waking minute alone, in this state. It's not human.
Help. That's all I can say right now. Help and please pray for me. I want to be well, and I want to be free.