I agree with Blue Rose, completely, and there is a cold, hard fact about people who are in need of help and needy - unless a person is willing to help themselves, any and all help offered is wasted time and energy. There are many other posters who are willing to take that leap to help themselves once they've reached out for a lifeline of general direction.
The original poster has made numerous posts with regard to suspected child abuse and, for whatever reason, is either afraid to take matters into their own hands, or is finding some sort of morbid satisfaction by posting, re-posting, and making multilple postings about the same issues. Whether these events occurred or not is not for me to determine. But, what I have determined is that this poster is not interested (AT THE PRESENT TIME) in helping themselves if these episodes did, indeed, take place.
To protect myself from possible triggers and emotional frustration, I'm detaching myself from this poster and their issues. Having said that, I am still hopeful that this poster will put down the weed, stop posting, and get help if the events truly happened. If, on the other hand, this poster has another agenda, I would feel pity for them. Whichever way it goes, I'm out with the best of wishes that Francis gets it together and gets help.
How about this idea- since you say your family wont believe you, dont try to make them believe you. Just tell them that you need to seek therapy because of some of your own personal problems that are not connected to them in any way. Make something up if you have to, say you have problems with recurrent nightmares, fears, anxiety, delusions...whatever...just anything to convince them to take you to therapy.
I didnt read all the posts, but from what I got is that you have problems with cooperation on the side of your family since they dont believe what you say and therefore are not eager to provide you with therapy. I understand its bothering you that you feel that something bad happened to you which you cannot remember and the fact that you know it happened but you dont know what it was exactly is what's really bothering you. If thats the issue, I dont think you'll ever be able to recall this on your own. You have to find a help of therapist, you should do hypnosis therapy.
Also, not to say that this is your case, but there are things like "false memories". A friend of mine used to study Freud a lot and he told me about how many of his patiens who came to seek therapy believed that they were abused by their parents, and they weren't lying, in their heads it truly happened. As he found out later none of this actually took place, in reality they had different childhood trauma like being neglected by their parents actually.
Let me ask you if these things that you remember, do you remember only when you smoke weed or even when sober? I used to smoke weed and take many other drugs too but then it started messing with my head badly. Now every time I try to smoke, almost always I get paranoya or some other problem even if I only smoke a little. I also used to take a lot of ecstasy in my teens and it was all good until it started giving me head trips, one time I swore I remembered something from my childhood about my real father sexually molesting me, and it was so real, I could swore by it, I was so scared. But then when I sobered up I knew it never happened, what really happened is that my stepfather, not my real father, abused me during my teens and I knew that, but I didnt want to see it this way because I actually loved my stepfather despite all he's done and it took me years to realize what he was doing to me. Even when I went back to that memory that I had on ecstasy what I noticed is that even though I saw my real father it was actually my stepfather's voice that I heard.
I really think that the best thing you can do is to talk nicely to your parents about you needing a therapist, just make sure they dont feel like you are accusing them of anything, tell them what they want to hear if you have to, tell them it has nothing to do with them, if they insist that none of this happened you can tell them that in this case you have "false memories" which are bothering you and it would help a lot to get therapy in order to get rid of these memories- whatever it takes to cooperate with you. Once you do get in touch with therapist tell them whatever you truly remember happening and mention that nobody believes you. Hopefully they can get to the bottom of this.