Mira528
Hi Uber, you mentioned in another post that you were planning to move if the court order goes against you. Do you have a place to move to?
If you can't lose weight while you're on the drugs, is there another job that you do right away?
Can you try to use only positive words like can instead of can't?
If it works for your belief system, you might want to try thanking God/the Universe for the situation that you are in right now. You can give thanks for being alive and for the things that you can do. You can imagine a white light shining on yourself and others in your life and even on the judge in court, and angels all around you, the judge, etc. This may sound hokey to you, and if you think it's stupid, it may not be for you, but I've tried it and some surprising things have happened.
You seem to have developed thought patterns where you're a victim. While you've been under the control of others, especially as a child, you now have the ability to break free if you choose to. The first thing that has to change is your thoughts and words and you may find it easier to do that when you've gotten away from the people who are drugging you.
Good luck to you