A person at the beginning of their life can feel embarrassed about anything.
I wonder if it doesn't come from the judgementalism that we find most everywhere in the world.
You are just beginning your life. I promise you that by the time you enter your seventies, or even sooner, the world will look much, much different...much more manageable, and beautiful.
You simply have to see what you can do with it, and you are going to be wonderfully surprised!
One of my physical therapists, who is teaching me to walk again...told me that he went over a 50 ft. cliff with his car, and landed against trees.
He hurt a vertabrae in his neck/upper back and tore things in his arm.
I can imagine that a young man could find lots in a bad accident to be embarrassed about and a number of stupid ways to act while he heals.
Your life will take you to many experiences and consequences and behaviors, most of which will be amazing surprises.
The most important thing, of couse, is to love yourself, discover yourself, as you go.
I was 71 years old and had strokes before I discovered the love available in my 85-year-old husband...who has lost two wives to dreadful illnesses.
I am so fortunate to have his care and patience and attention...and to be alive to enjoy it.
I go back to the in-patient area of the hospital Rehab Dept. twice a week, just to look for a moment at the new folks who are learning the value of patients helping each other, even in only small ways, and the strength of the therapists who lift and train us.
Therapist John was a mechanic before he went over that cliff.
He now helps dozens of people who didn't know such effective help is available, let alone that THEY can do it.
We are all different, little one. Even in the world of strokes and brain surgery, etc., that I am just experiencing, there are folks who dive into their new experience and will never really 'want' to do the exercises and stuff to get out of it...to get better than I am now.
I am so lucky that I 'want' to get back to the best I can be.
I am my husband's third wife, and we noticed that I am the only one with the opportunity to be well, or better/improved.
Dearest Jan, you have not yet experienced the love of a good man who will see you as gorgeous, just as you are, and as you will be at any age...and you him.
Your babies, too, with all the love and care you can give them, are still in your wonderful future.
See these things, sweetheart, and don't fret the other experiences that may or may not come your way.
Your mom and dad gave you the best they had. Your new family gives you the best they have.
You, in turn, will pass on wonderful things you can only guess at.
One day you will sit in a rocker on the front porch and enjoy the little ones playing...while you wonder what experiences lie ahead for them.
Be not embarrassed, little one. Be wise. Observe people and choose the ones you want in your life...the ones whose lives you want to join.
You will make it just fine. We can hear it in your voice.
P.S. Just the other day it dawned on me that I will always be discovering unhappy things in the world that are far bigger than I can handle and solve. And, that I have this lovely imagination where I can see the world and people as perfect, and perfectly happy.
And I have this odd notion that my seeing things and people this way, helps.
So, I send out this picture of everyone discovering their best, and me associating with only the people I can be successful with. ...The rest are on their own and I wish them well.
I don't know if I am saying this well enough but I hope you understand.
Be well, sweetheart. You deserve it.