#38394
My boyfriend of a 1 1/2 yrs keeps secrets...they can be just minor secrets but the most recent secret is an ex girlfriend or a woman he dated but was not commited to due to him moving out of state, that he still talks to. they are business partners. he was for her when her mother passed and she inherited her mothers business. After he moved away they still continued to be good friends and once he moved back due to conflict of interest she asked him to become the executive to the business he has a masters in business and she trust that he won't screw her over like family would. well i found this out he still talked to her by using his
Cell Phone noticed on his call log that she had called him. he told me that it was nothing nor was it none of my business. the i asked him if she knew he was in a relationship. his reply was that is none of her business. he feels that it is okay for men and women who are in relationships to have secret opposite sex friends??? it they stray then they stray. however i don't feel that way and he knows about my male friends and they know about him. Now i don't think he has any type of sexual relationship with her i don't see how he would have the time nor do i get that gut feeling us females get.
my question is:
Is it okay for two people who are in a relationship to keep secrets like that? he claims that i am crazy for thinking the way that i do and that stuff like that is on a need to know basis yet when i asked him if he ever talked to ex girlfriend or ever get random e-mail (cause i do) he told me no claimed he doesn't consider her and ex they just dated. i think he is justfiying his actions.
So is it okay to keep secrets like that in a realtionship or should your friends know your in a relationship? Did i over react in getting mad about this? Mind you he told me there business situation 2 days after the fact that i found out they still communiate and he is across the country right now looking for a job and she is here with me.
we did split up because i don't agree with his way of thinking (this is not the first time second time we have gone thru this and he agreed then that it was wrong yet doing it again) but i want to know if i did the right thing or I truly overreacted