Molly Bloom
Oh man, that sounds like my Mom. She recently passed away, and all those conflicted feelings I had of being neglected and rejected reared it's ugly head in a big way.
My Mom went through menopause for like 25 years, I kid you not. She started at the end of my elementary school years, and continued for a long long time. Has your mother had any surgeries or procedures that might affect her female parts? Is she taking any kind of hormones? Is she having personal problems at home with a spouse or other?
I think you've done all you can. If your Mother is not going to actively participate in your life, then you must find your support sources elsewhere. At least you have two sources, which is more than some people. Maybe it's time to start reading and get more philosophical, start making your own judgments and decisions.
Your Mom may or may not come around. I remember feeling so hurt when she did this to me. I felt terribly betrayed. But at the end of the day it's very likely not anything you've done, or the person that you are. She has her own issues she is dealing with, which you may or may not find out about.
Just remember your Mom loves you. I think it's time to back off and let her come to you when she is ready to Mother again. She is obviously lashing out at you, and that is a no win situation for either of you.
You're so young and I totally feel for your situation. Believe it or not, there are a bunch of motherly types here at CZ that will be more than happy to answer relationship type questions. Keep posting and wait for an answer that makes good sense to you. You'll get all kinds of responses, and you'll need to use your best intuition and intelligence to discern what is really best for you.
Take care.
Molly