GHOST SHIT
You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in
the
bowl.
TEFLON COATED SHIT
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of
shit
on the toilet paper, you have to look in the toilet to be sure you did.
GOOEY SHIT
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it
still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in
the toilet.
SECOND THOUGHT SHIT
You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you
realize it...you've got some more.
POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD SHIT
This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until
you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
BALI BELLY SHIT
You shit so much you lose 5 kilos
RIGHT NOW SHIT
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out
before you get your pants down.
KING KONG OR COMMODE CHOKER SHIT
This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of
shit
usually happens at someone else's house.
WET CHEEKS SHIT
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your
ass
wet.
WISH SHIT
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!
CEMENT BLOCK OR OH GOD SHIT
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.
SNAKE SHIT
This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at
least
three feet long.
MEXICAN FOOD SHIT
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your a**ho** stops burning.
BEER DRUNK SHIT
This happens the day after the night before. Normally you shit doesn't
smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing
outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at
someone else's house.
THE FRIGHTENED TURTLE
The kind of shit that just pokes its head out the quickly goes back in.
THE RING OF FIRE SHIT
The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your a**ho** feels
like the inside of a cigarette lighter.
THE JACK THE RIPPER SHIT
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way
out.
THE NUCLEAR SHIT
This shit comes after an all-weekend- long drinking binge and starts with
some straining to get the hard rabbit turd of dehydrated shit out that
acts like a plug keeping the explosive diarrhea shit in your a**ho**.
Toilet bowl from rim to rim is splattered with diarrhea. Toilet seat
melts from the fumes alone.