The anti-milk attitudes amongst food alternativists are some of the most damaging of all, IMO. Calcium is one of the most vital core minerals our metabolisms and body structure require; dairy products, along with meat and fish are the only really true abundant supplier. If lactose intolerances are a problem, a course with a kinesiologist will normally clear them up quickly. If it is a problem with absorbing the fat, then it is a question of ensuring the gall and liver are functioning properly. The problem of handling fat can also be aided by consuming non-homogenised milk products as much as possibly where the fat molecules are less disturbed. Eating yoghurt regularly is another way around these kind of problems often.
Of course, one can take the calcium supplements, but then one is taking a proven high risk of gall and kidney stones. If that is the only way to correct a serious calcium deficiency, then taking some apple cider vinegar each day, with honey to taste, is the best way of ensuring the body breaks down and absorbs the calcium.
Adelle Davies was one of the writers who explains the biochemistry of calcium the best in my experience, along with Paul Pitchford, author of 'Healing with whole foods'. He approaches the question of getting enough calcium from a non-dairy perspective, however, which I am not entirely in agreement with. But he is worth checking out, if you really cant stomach milk.