Give counseling a try and renegotiate the relationship.
That you say you would love to stay with her and sort
things out is where your heart is really right now. I
was married to an alpha male and when we got tangled
up in our heads, counseling was a real win-win situation.
Both of us could *hear* things from a professional and
then we seemed to embrace the challenge of making things
work. In long term relationships, you are basically
growing up together so its often challenging but it is
also rewarding if you can get through the bumps and
brambles.
Definitely though, find a common ground and renew your
sense of self-esteem before you begin a family. I know
all of us women know women who treat their husbands or
significant others in the way your wife seems to be
treating you and it personally makes me wince. I know
there is give and take in relationships but if there is
not respect and friendship then it does become like a
challenge which does not appeal to me, so I tend to
identify with your desire to shift from the way you
are feeling to a place where you have a more comforting
level of relating.
In my experience, the seven year itch is also real and
it is not always just 7 years although you may have been
together before marriage too, time which you might also
factor in. It does seem to be a time for re-evaluation
and redefining common goals and airing out feelings which
you may have tended to stuff to your personal detriment.
Hang in there and give counseling a chance. If you do not
like the counselor, get another as this can also happen
and so do not allow a chance to improve your relationship
pass up just because your first counselor is off in left
field. I had to shop and find a guy who I felt my husband
could relate to. The first counselor was younger than both
of us and a woman who I would not have recommended to any
one...ggg. Anyway, live and learn, or learn and leave, but
do not leave before giving it your best shot if you feel
this person is worth the commitment you initially felt
like making when you said I do. If you do navigate these
shoals, your relationship will be stronger.
best wishes,
Zoe
-_-