Not that I'd ever have to choose :-)

I would throw myself in front of a speeding train for my son. No doubt about it. But when I had my baby, as most mothers do, I threw myself into mothering. It's a natural instinct. Babies are so needy.

But what I saw in my assorted "Mommies" groups are woman after woman who completely forgot that their husbands existed. It was all baby, baby, baby. Their whole beings and lives surrounded the child. My question was always..."when this baby leaves your house in 18 years, who will still be there?" None of them got it.

And some of these women ended up with very dissatisfied and unhappy husbands. Some husbands looked elsewhere for attention. Before baby there was a loving cocoon of husband and wife. As dedicated and happy men are with their new child, they still long for the loving relationship of the wife.

This is a big mistake by some women, they forget that the husband is there for the rest of their lives. With good parenting skills, you teach your child to leave your home and make their own home and family. If you are a caring parent, you hope that they will do this.

Who is still at home? Your husband, your partner, you lover and hopefully your best friend. With good luck, this is a rest of your life scenario.

I would never "choose" between them. But I certainly would honor both of them equally. And both are in my circle of unconditional love and respect.

Molly

*Edit* - My son turned 16 today. As a Mom, I can't believe this manly looking person is my baby. In a way, I can't wait for him to go to college and start really living life, and my husband and I can resume, happy empty nesters. But I mourn because it's all going way way too fast.