long end of day one by Emmaus .....
day 1 fast difficulties strengths
Date: 5/9/2009 2:17:35 AM ( 13 y ago)
Well, here it is...the end of day one.
It's been reasonably good, with emphasis on the "reasonable"! I had a lot, lot lot of urgent personal business to attend to today (and last night), something which is going to become a bit of a familiar cry -- so I didn't get to bed until about 3AM last night....getting up at 8:30 was, of course, consequently not the easiest thing to do -- so I actually started the day off with coffee....which served the (unhealthy, but pleasant) duel purpose of waking me up and suppressing my appetite (that comes from being off caffeine for a few years.) As a rule, coffee is something to be avoided, ESPECIALLY when on a fast! -- but I'm through day one and, as we fasters/humans know, improvement simply means doing better than your last failure :)
Right now, sitting on the bed with the loving kitty curled up beside me, it doesn't feel so bad.
I wrote up a list today of the things which were going to be hard on my fast -- something I've been meaning to do for awhile, but I'm glad I got it done. It will serve as a very helpful reminder/encouragement, during these coming days! As of today, the 2 people I live with and my best friend across the street now know I am juice fasting. The following days -- and then the latest days (20+) are going to prove to be the trickiest: The first days are full of "what are you doing!??" and the last ones will be full of "You haven't eaten for X days, you need to eat!" However, it's started, and that's hurdle one over. BF's grandmother is a bit hard to handle in that respect, and now that we are neighbors she will be my person of reference when I sympathize with people who have people interfering with their health/weight; having said that, I should add that (as with most of us) she is a very caring, loving person who just doesn't understand or realize how difficult or hurtful her comments can be. Which of course often makes it harder to handle! Anyway, having the list is good -- during my last fast it was difficult, at day 27, to remember what it was like to eat -- let alone why you're on the blinking fast in the first place!
Here's a sample of some of the things I wrote down:
1) I will, at some points, be extremly hungry. Hungry enough to eat bananas even, maybe! So hungry that I will think my body is telling me I need food.
2) I will, at some point, be inclined to tell myself “This is a good enough kick-start, you can eat small portions now”. If I do that, I will become discouraged later. I need to go as long as planned unless some major health obstacle comes up.
3) I will be berated and stressed out sometimes by people’s opinions – especially my “neighbors”. I need to be careful about how I handle it and not let it stop me – and not let it be an excuse for me to eat.
5) I need to watch this because if I decide it’s better to end the fast, I need to do it properly – I cannot afford to let my impulses guide me.
6) I will be tempted to do things by impulse – the same way I eat food. Part of the goal of this is to overcome and control those impulses. If I feel an overwhelming need and necessity to eat, it may be that my body is telling me to eat – then I will PLAN out how I eat. I will not eat within 30 minutes of deciding that I will eat. I will sit down, plan out what I am going to eat, prepare it (i.e. peel, core, etc) and then eat.
7) NO IMPULSES!!!!!!!
9) Drink lots of tea. Use honey!
10) Be careful when going to the grocery store. I need to write out a list of groceries before I go – not only to control impulse buying, but so that I can be efficient and not linger (and be tempted!)
12) Chew gum.
13) There will be times when it is VERY discouraging to see weight not dissapear day after day. Remember you might go as long as a week without losing any weight. Just chart it, mark how you’re feeling, drink some tea and juice and ABOVE ALL, keep exercising! Build up your muscles and exercise regime. Even if you don’t lose weight, you can be gaining muscle and tone and becoming strong. The goal of this fast is not only JUST weight loss – it is total healthy habits transformation! So as hard as it is, don’t become fixated on the weight loss. Just keep going!
15) Pray. Pray....Talk this out with God. Find Him during this fast...You know what this is like.
16) Use this as a time of prayer requests and appeal and intercession.
17) You can do it! Look how far you’ve come!!!
Obviously, I've left a few things out -- and a lot more in! A list like this can become very, very personal, but you get the gist of it. I'd encourage each of you to write out your own -- and to journal, daily or even hourly as needed! This blog, for me, is obviously serving something of a duel purpose in that respect.
As any POW or student-in-a-boring-class will tell you, losing "measures" -- of time, of achievement, etc -- is highly demoralizing. That is why these lists are so important -- that is why people are encouraged to lose weight in segments (5lb, CELEBRATE, 10lb, CELEBRATE!!!) and to build up routines. Little bites are easy to handle -- but then you look back and see the big bite you have taken: VERY encouraging. Very reassuring.
For me, as you'll notice, the Notorious Imp -- or impulses -- feature big on my list. Impulses, of course, in my eating life, are what are a significant problem for me: eating out of boredom/panic/procrastination. They become much more obvious during a fast, because you CAN'T eat; so this is a good time to work on understanding them and finding alternative methods of dealing with them. It's dishearting to break a fast/good streak of anything -- because of an impulse, as we probably all know. Something which feels good or right at that MINUTE will, upon reflection (sometime, only hours later -- but eventually!) or certainly AFTER the deed has been done -- not feel nearly as good or right. As important as it is not to give up after these 'episodes' (To which "we are all susceptible") it's also important to control them, to avoid them. Flee temptation, as is said, could also be taken in this respect -- the more we dally with the though of a misdeed, the likelier we are to commit it. Leave the situation SLASH kitchen, do something else (read your Bible, go for a 72 mile run -- just kidding!) -- and come back, and the thing will have a different light.
Usually my first day isn't so bad, hunger wise; I think today was different because 1) everyone in the house is leaving for a day trip tomorrow, and therefore packing an eskee full of delectables -- COSTCO muffins being one of them :( and that's a challenge to watch! -- and 2) best friend's mother cooking strawberry rhubarb pies for lunch tomorrow. Dear me, such is the timing! However, repeating the mantras "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" right along with "There will BE muffins in 2 months!" will help.
Bedtime....cat looks so sweet and cuddly I can't stay away. More tomorrow, or later!
Be strong, fellow fasters!
p.s. Realized an unfortunate flaw in juicing plan today -- Juicer is, of course, extremely loud, and 1 housemate works night shifts...Drat. Means I will have to make breakfast's juice in PM, and store in fridge overnight....A pity and not ideal, but at least I know now and am aware! It'll work out. Lots of fresh stuff as soon as it's juiced during day and one breakfast of 8 hour old juice won't be the worst thing that can happen to me. I can probably start juicing around 12pm so that'll be alright. The things we have to navigate on our fasts! Still, today I made up my "calendar" of juice recipies to follow -- keeps it exciting and different, and helps me from getting "bored" of the routine -- and posted it on pantry door (OUTSIDE, of course :) ) So plans are coming into place!
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